19 March, 2020

A few words

Whenever I think of getting to the writing page just for the sake of writing something and keep the flow going, it ends up being a more difficult task than concentrating on a thought that needs to be written in a better shape, or an opinion that is personal. Finally, I end up writing nothing at all, and later ponder on the blank page that could have had a life. That is how this space has taken shape in the last few years. I need to overcome my ADD as it applies to my writing. It's like a runner in a lull, with signs of a pot belly, tired legs, and a loose unathletic frame. It is unacceptable. A person like that defies the nature and purpose of his/her self. I had to bring the runner's analogy here, because that is both contextually and literally relevant.

I started the year with five simple goals, achievable at ease. I'm sticking on to two of them, and trying to bring back the third to life after it started sleeping in February. It's quite an improvement compared to prior years when I would've had ten ambitious resolutions, and asked in February 'what resolutions'! As it turns out, I'm becoming a man of few words and fewer actions! As soon as I wrote the last piece, I started on this one purposefully to see if I can kick back to life one of the unfollowed three goals so far. So, there goes.

Speaking of the five goals, running is one that's fortunately continuing! Touchwood!

Another short babble!

The passions of tomorrow

It's an ideal title given that we are in a grave global imbalance that is threatening life itself, and we are in the process of trying to stop it and set up a new normal. But this post is not about the reset itself, but my view of what it takes to accept a new reset and how I think I could set myself up for that. In the eight months since dabbling with the idea of many passions, I'm yet to find that tomorrow when I will start picking up one of the callings and doing something with it. I came incredibly close last week to the start of that tomorrow, but it has been put on hold. No hurry, given the reset that is underway. (The truth is I accepted it only after a day of bitter feelings, because the wait was too long! It was self-centered thought and I'm ashamed of it!). Bigger things are at stake for everyone. The next few weeks and months are going to change our lives in more ways than we can imagine.

Good things come to those who wait. The only problem with that is, for some of the things, the wait is just too long! But it is what it is. It shouldn't be surprising that the scales of maturity tilt more towards the spiritual side as one grows up. And one of my measures for that is how quickly I accept setbacks and get back on my feet. This time, a day seemed reasonable. I think I'll get better at it. If everything I wished for happened like clock work, what's the fun in it? And without some crude unexpected fun unleashed upon an adventurous soul, how does one appreciate the whiplashes of Karma?

Here is my realization from all that is happening. The paths for the passions of tomorrow are paved by the due repayment of my debts of today! Karma's account is never off-balance in the end, even though it may not seem so during the process. If it seems off-balance, it's not the end. And that is what this reset makes me think of my own time now. As counterintuitive as it may seem to the path I'm about to set off on, I'm more and more inclined to understand, analyze, soul-search and then set right my debts of each passing day. Or rather, only now it makes all the sense to me to be wearing this lens, exactly when I'm about to set off. It helps set things in perspective!

Sidenote: Sometimes the payment is past due and come with a penalty for the thing/person it is intended to be repaid to. One of the forms of penalty I have encountered is burning a good bridge before reflecting upon and appreciating another person's good wishes for me which I didn't yet acknowledge. And if the moment of genuine reflection is too late, it means nothing to the other person. One's genuineness to another person means nothing if the timing of it isn't right! They couldn't care less if you're too late. After all, there are only so many people who truly wish well for others without expecting anything in return, isn't it? But even above this, the hilarious irony of this is, when you want to be better today than the person you were yesterday, sometimes Karma expects you to be good for all the things you haven't been good at, in one shot!

That's all for this short babble!

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