Long live Spirit!!!

Well... there had been times when i almost broke down and desperately felt like breaking free and getting the hell out of the place....like a free bird...

and for the last 3 yrs... from Nov 29 2006, to be precise.... I've had no better companion than spirit!!! my spirit!!

my innumerable rides with spirit had been and will always be adventurous...in untrodden roads!! my journey with spirit will always remain part of my legacy!!

Here's wishing my spirit a very happy b'day and a wonderful journey with me ahead for the rest of both our lives!!

Long live spirit!

Inspirations...

I had decided to wait for three more days to make it a "100-day-break" from blogging!! but i can't help it now... this needs to be said...

I remember tweeting sometime back "are inspirations really ephemeral.. like a mirage?? or is it just me??!!" I lately keep discovering and rediscovering that they aren't ephemeral... it's a tough proposition to explain why they aren't ephemeral.. but let me try...

One probable reason could be that we are never short of greater people all around us... those who have climbed from even lower wrungs of life's ladder than we did... those who never fail to amaze us with their seemingly unthinkable deeds!! those who are at the dead-wrong places at the dead-wrong time and yet turn the tables to their favor in some absolutely breathtaking encounters... well.. i tell you, we need to observe a lot.. to learn to really look deep to understand how they do that... its inexplicable in words...
i can say fairly confidently that i've learnt to observe a lot these days... and been able to understand the profundities of nature and people around us... but getting better never stops... there's still a lot to learn...

talking about nature, i feel it's a totally miserable idea/perception to draw inspirations from animals as some people do... come on... don't you ever be so naive as to believe an ant, or a lion for that matter, is the king of insects/beasts... they aren't kings because they work hard or they are so powerful.. it's their nature... whatever those creatures do it's all reflexive actions and instincts... and more so, lion is just the king of the jungle.. not of humans!!!
let's stop comparing ourselves to a lion or an ant thinking we 'can be' stronger than the strongest or a harder worker than the hardest of them all... it's nonsense.... let's grow up...

i feel very sorry for those people who are so dumb into believing such crap that they 'attempt to' bring such insanities to life in the form of animation movies where a monkey crowns a lion 'king' or a tortoise crowns a panda a 'dragon warrior' all at the end of a glorious war... and such crap!
still if you insist we do draw some kind of inspiration from animals, then apart from animals, i don't think we have been that successful so far to learn from any other creations/creatures of nature to draw inspirations from them... so i think it's a waste of time to talk about inspirations from nature anymore..

so that leaves us with people...
Now this makes the most sense.. that we can only draw inspirations from people around us... and from what i have been experiencing, here too it only starts to make sense from the moment we realize we cannot draw inspirations from looking at others without looking inside ourselves!!! and it's a tough lesson we all need to learn by ourselves... to look inside ourselves...

well... i know this is all cliche'd stuff... but what we all invariably fail to see is that sometimes some of the most obscure things in life are in fact the simplest only if we know which way to look at them... and in that other direction is an untamed path full of surprises in life... the drive or the courage to take that road is within ourselves!!
unfortunately we don't see that most of life's complications and intricacies we feel are in fact only so because we see them in a way they are not supposed to be seen... that the same road is never exciting!!!

let there be light to the new road... let there be hope...
getting better never stops...
there's a lot to learn to live life large!!

will be back..
cheers,
rajaji.

one last time...

He lay flat on the terrace floor... staring at the wonderful night sky... it had just rained and the remaining few clouds had passed...the breeze was awesome... a strong breeeze or two, now and then, carried along with it the finest dew drops.. some splashed on his face sending a pleasant chill down his spine.. he smiled... he was beginning to lose himself to nature.

He had been in such sensational moments before, those best moments of his life...
but that was when she was beside him... that was long back... now, he did not even seem to realize it and was totally in a different world himself..
the sounds around him... of his friends chatting... of the many walkman phones churning out one song after another... the chirping of the nocturns... nothing seemed capable of shaking his resolve now... no... not now...

John Denver's 'Annie's Song' kept running in his mind...

You fill up my senses,
like a night in the forest,
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain,
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean,
you fill up my senses,
come, fill me again.

come, let me love you,
let me give my life to you,
let me drown in your laughter,
let me die in your arms.
let me lay down beside you,
let me always be with you,
come, let me love you,
come, love me again.

let me give my life to you,
come, let me love you,
come, love me again.

you fill up my senses,
like a night in the forest,
like the mountains in spring time,
like a walk in the rain,
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean,
you fill up my senses,
come, fill me again.

He closed his eyes and gathered the last things that went through his mind... the moment when they shook hands for one last time... those painful words they had to share for one last time... and many more... all for one last time...

he shed a few drops of tears...wiped them out....and he closed his eyes for one last time...

Happy B'day my dear blog!!

By any measure, I could tell this is definitely one of my greatest successes in life so far... in terms of my perseverance, patience and above all, passion!! cos there are moments in life where even passions die!

But I sure am not going to relent in this... I'll just fight anything to keep this passion alive and well...

and here I wish my blog a very very happy b'day as it enters its third year!!! I just can't tell how excited I am at this success of mine! :-) Join me in celebrating this joyous occasion and a proud moment! :-)

will be back..

cheers,

rajaji.

Half-life 2009

I can't help appreciating myself for having saved this space from the brink of extinction yet again.. wait wait.. its just been 75 days since the last post and I call this 'brink of extinction'?? Well... I'm the kind who feels there's so much to do (do what??) but so little time that I can say 75 days is a lifetime for me!!! and thus, this becomes an immense success for me! :-P

but I really can't tell you how busy I've been those 75 days to even 'think' of saving this space..oh come on! you must be dumb to believe me if I said I've been too busy physically or otherwise to come back to put some stuff in this space! I know you ain't dumb... none of you! :-) . So you get it that I'm not gonna say 'work kept me busy' or 'couldn't find time da'.... It was, let's say, a period of long mental hybernation(on the outside only!!) (holy &*%^.. i gotta stop inventing such insanities!!).. the month of May, in particular, being verrry testing!!!

anyway, this post is not to torture you with the course of the events of my mental hybernation.. let that shit go away with the half-life of 2009... the other half starts today!
Shd I say, the glass is now exactly half-full or half-empty?? am I an optimist or a pessimist??

will be back,
cheers,
rajaji.

P.S : This post and the events of my M-H will make clear sense to puppysmile and mood in particular... thanks for being with me thru tough times, guys!

GMRC

I was going through GAAP and it enthused me a lot.. so i just thought why not devise some commandments for relationships... of course for 'fun only'... so, I've just invented 'Generally Misinterpreted Relationship Commandments'.
The names have been adopted similar to GAAP, as they seem relevant to what I'm about to say.... but should you, if at all, wish to adopt any of these commandments, it's upto you to decide to which relationship which of these commandments fit best for you!!! :-P

Commandment of regularity: You shall always be regular in your relationship, but shall not expect regularity in return!! For, should you expect regularity, you shall be sure NOT to receive it. Even then, you shall never, ever, cease to be regular!! it's the LAW!!!

Commandment of consistency: In any relationship,you shall learn to maintain consistency..in your dedication, honesty, loyalty etc... and also,in all your multi-taskings, multi-threadings, clandestine operations, and your 'lies' too!!! Should you lose the consistency, you shall pay for it dearly!! And, obviously, here too, you shall not expect any reciprocity of consistency!!!

Commandment of sincerity: No need to explain anything in detail here... should you be insincere even a moment, man, 'you are dead'!!!

Commandment of the permanence of methods: This is quite complicated!! you shall not maintain a permanence across all your methods uniformly... instead, the permanence adopted for each method shall depend on how you frame the method and, if you are caught red-handed, how to use the method to your advantage.. requires a lot of brainwork... and guts too!!!

Commandment of non-compensation: You shall always be the one to take the measures to keep the relationship moving forward... and you shall not expect any compensation/remuneration for your efforts in this! you shall be good always, do good always, mouthshut!!

Commandment of prudence: You shall always be prudent everytime everywhere cos you shall never know when the next big expenditure will stare at your face! this is not simply in materialistic terms, but in cognitive, emotional and spiritual terms too!!!

Commandment of continuity: You shall continue to remain tied in the relationship even though you shall be beaten, disgraced, humiliated.. no matter how often!! for, by being continuous you always pave the way for things to get better and keep the relationship growing!!!

Commandment of periodicity: You shall periodically invent methods of renewal and reinforcements to keep the relationship going! should you fail in this particular principle, you shall be sure to run a damaged vehicle! and be ready to lose your bones too!!!

Commandment of Full Disclosure/Materiality: Finally here!! you shall always disclose full material worth.. and, inevitably, be necessarily (note : not SUFFICIENTLY, but NECESSARILY!!) materialistic and keep yourself stuffed always!!!

phew!!!

now, would you be kind enough to suggest some good stuff for me to devise 'commandments' for?? ;-)

rajaji.

how long?

of late, this is the only thought occupying this cramped dumbhead of mine all the time... "how long"!

if you ask me 'how long for what', well.. i'll have to say 'i don't know'. if i already knew it, why should i be waiting and mumbling every second 'how long'?? i tell you, it's always nice to have choices.. but it doesn't do much good to have too many of 'em... infact all it does is make you go even crazier than what you were before...

well.. this is not a rant, if that's what you think it is.. :-) i'm talking in general... let's say some philosophy of mine.. though i ain't too good at it, let me try too... ;-)

after all, there's always the opportunity, every instant, to make out how our life is gonna be... and it looks to me now is the time i gotta make mine... the time for the call... let me see how it shapes up...

the lines from 'Hero' (Nickelback)...

I'm so high, I can hear heaven.
oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me..

and they say that a hero can save us.
i'm not gonna stand here and wait.
i'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
watch as we all fly away.

in hopes...
rajaji.

atlast!!

stood still, the breeze, and my mind!
on my eyes' tips, stopped my tears!
my soul's music, it stunned as well!
all when you came back!!! and how!!

strange!! did my heart stop too?
I know it hasn't!! how can it??
you've been living there, for long !!!
in each and every breath, in and out!!

struck sleepless, all long nights!!
roaming restless, all long days!!
thus I passed, so much of life!!
in high hopes, you'd come back!!

i thought, vicious..the circle of love!!
anyone to stop this? and how?
nowhere I could go, what next??
in all ethereal hopes! and you came back!

feel it!!!

just when u think i've said all that is to be said abt 'my music', hold on!! though i say, my music is beyond language or whatever, there are some things that u can hardly refute about the language/voices when it comes to good music..and am no exception ;-)

in that way, my latest crush is a lesser known song from the recent tamil movie 'Laadam'...during the first few times, i didn't stop to look deep into the song.. it'd hardly be a moment or two before the hand automatically moves on to the next channel in the remote, because i used to have a bad opinion that songs from lesser known/stupid/bad movies will be equally bad as well! say, like.. the movie will spot a totally unfit hero (probably the son of the producer!!), a lesser known/new face director, low budget and likely, a new music director too who would hardly know what it is to create 'original music' and instead copy tracks easily from foreign languages or put on some f^&*#%^ 'dappanguthu' or totally irritating and shameless item numbers!!! again,, this movie too has a copy of an english track... so it naturally boils down that u don't waste a second on such movies/songs.. and i ditched it altogether!!!

but i was proven wrong this time with the song 'siru thodudhalile' rendered by Bombay Jayashree and Haricharan.. well.. no need to say abt BJ...there's hardly anyone who can match her in delivering romantic pieces, overpowering us with a stunning mix of both base and high pitches (the latest stark contrast being 'Anal mele panithuli' (Vaaranam Aayiram) which Sudha Ragunathan totally ditched (as far as i'm concerned!!!) BJ would've done absolute justice to it just like how she's been doing since 'Vaseegara'!!)... and Haricharan has been one of my favorite singers since he debuted in 'Kaadhal' with two wonderful songs...excellent talent!

and so, atlast, I decided to give this song one go!! just for the singers.. and lo!!! here am, after three days of non-stop 'siru thodudhalile', and writing about it here... (the first time i ever write a review) ..there had not been such an addiction for me for anything in the recent past... the song is an absolute mind-blower!! such wonderful romantic touches from both the singers... they've both 'lived' it...and to add to that, the small flute track at the start,inbetween the interludes and at the end. though a small piece,that's one stunner!!

and I won't put the lyrics here.. the beauty of the romance that the song carries just needs to be felt along with its music!!
this is sure to take its place as one of my most favorite romantic duets!!

WARNING :: Should you ever come to know that this song's music is also stolen from some original soundtrack, well... don't blame me for the hype i've created here!!! after all, a good music is good music no matter in how many minds it is replicated!! :-P

rajaji.

my music!!

this has been under editing for quite a while. i think it's ready to be talked about now... for the first time, i'm writing about something which i've experienced since childhood... something which i now feel i was born with... music!!

my first teachers were my dear sisters bharathi and prashanthi.. i grew up watching them go to 'paatu class' everyday, come back home and practise the same...that was when i was in the third grade... i was too young then to really 'feel' the music... i'd just listen to them sing and repeat it... probably i had great grasping powers!! ;-) (not now though! ;-)) the music came just like how studies did!! i think i probably started growing up with it as another of the routine stuffs of everyday life!! then, i too joined them for the 'paatu class'... and this went on for roughly 12 yrs... and i represented my schools and college in competitions, winning some, losing some...

but then, in due course of time, my life started changing drastically.. slowly i grew to be the heart-ruler that i am now... giving my mind only stuff it needed for survival!! i felt i should let my heart do the 'living'... there were good lessons of that in life... and so, i began to feel my heart slowly digging its way through my music too, conquering my mind, digging real deep into the splendor and awe of my music.. and the ultimate realization dawned on me that it was my music which had been transforming my life till then and made me most of what i am today!! on the moment of truth, every little thought n feeling on music, that i had till then, began to break down into a hundred thousand pieces!!! whatever music that i had 'learned' by-heart till then (well.. almost 99% of those were not in my mother-tongue and i had absolutely no idea what i was doing with all that!! they were always some praise on some god or the other.. in some language!) did not seem to make any sense... and i couldn't help feeling that all that music i had been living with was not heartfelt.. nor truly mine even... but i'm happy if any of my 'that' music made anyone happy.... the little that i could do for others.. make a moment or two for them...

now... after the realization i've given up the idea of taking the trouble of 'learning' anything new in that... i don't mean to say i'm done with it.. but there's no point in going any further once you know how the road thereafter is gonna be!! is there? instead, if you knew there is another road, untamed yet intriguing, would it not be interesting to get onto it??

now..my music has lost all its mental/social influences and the numerous languages it had till now... it is almost dumb, still... it has a deep, profound message for each and everything in nature... it is almost deaf, still... it's always there to listen to what my heart has to say... its almost blind, still... it can dig right through the darkest secrets of mankind that i encounter... its a complex mix of both 'nothingness' and 'wholeness' in my music that makes it truly mine...

Go Calvin!!!

I have no better words to explain!
Calvin just makes my day!! Go Calvin!


cheers,
rajaji.

as you sow, so you reap!!

I'm not a perfectionist in too many ways. But there are certain things which I prefer to perfect and also expect others to do so.. and these things are not too much to ask for, considering the fact that they generally help avoid mishaps in most cases, even if they don't do much good. But, doing no harm is a lot better way to make sure good things do happen automatically.

The below is one incident that infuriates me to hell and I solemnly curse the sinner when I encounter one!! particularly when I'm sure I didn't commit the mistake ever before...or atleast not the second time(c'mon.. everybody needs a first time to learn the lesson!!! don't we??)

I'm close-to-perfect when it comes to driving around in the city, particularly in the hell-breaking-loose traffic of chennai during both peak and off-peak hours. I can hardly think of a day when I've gone out without wearing a helmet(seriously, believe me!!! and of course, properly buckling it too!),
reason : not one, not two... but numerous cases of lives lost/tampered with, in the blink of an eyelid..and I've been witness to a great many number of accidents!! (not a good thing to be a witness of, rite??)

And so it happened today that while approaching a very busy signal, I suddenly felt a jerk from behind that took my breath away for a moment... I'm an unbelievably crazy pessimist who'd think something could go wrong in a perfectly well conditioned, absolutely safe and sound situation...and it gave me a lump in the throat to think of Spirit(that's my apache) being hurt.. thank heaven, Spirit was safe and sound..

it turned out that it was some dumbhead in a car just behind me who had crashed into Spirit's tail lamp quite hardly. It could well have just passed as a very minor accident due to carelessness and I'm generally forgiving/easy-going in such cases.. But the sight of a cellphone in the hands of a driver was all that was needed to rouse the uncontrollable rage in me. He seemed well enough to be an educated guy, was in a tip-top suit(IT guy??). that added fire to the rage...I parked Spirit right in the middle of the road in front of his car, called the sinner(!!) to get out of the car and terrifically lambasted him!! He looked pathetic in front of me and that gave me more chance to justify my anger... I joyfully and violently kept shouting at the top of my voice to gather a decent crowd... Finally when the rage died down after my pretty long 3 minute censure and the efforts of the numerous pacifists around me, I sighed and continued on my way to office!!

sigh!!! what a way to start the day!! :-(

I take this opportunity to plead(!!) with everyone :: PLEASE!! DO NOT USE CELLPHONE WHILE DRIVING!! take a moment to think of the terrible consequences that could follow a small slip!! and besides, you end up spoiling your mood as well as someone else's!

P.S : DO use a cellphone while driving with me, should you want to know how terrible the wrath of my anger can be!!! ;-) ;-)

cheers,
rajaji.

traces...

hard they struck, the moment we met,
our faces, deeply in our hearts.
eternities passed, just lookin' at 'em,
now they're gone, remain only traces.

never a gap; even air couldn't sneak in,
held so veins may burst, our hands,
how we walked , those untold paths,
the footprints no more, only traces.

how they flowed, tears down ur cheeks,
I fell in love, with you...those tears too.
I didn't know till then, you too loved.
now there's no you, no tears, only traces.

till then it flew, time, as it does always,
I fought n stopped it, with you by my side,
I now walk back, all the way, same way,
alone, I'll make new paths! no more traces...

Life is...??

I was planning a typical comeback, like, say, a title reading 'I'm back' or 'back with a bang' or something of that sort... :-) This came up quite unexpectedly and unprepared...yet I feel this will do for a decent read... let me know what you think...

What do you make of the title?? is it really a question answered/assessed by anyone but ourselves?? is anyone going to persecute you if your views of life contradict theirs?? or is anyone going to reward you if your views ditto theirs?? are there too many philosophies that keep re-directing our lives every day in every other direction??? is someone better off simply 'surviving' than defying something, say the foundations of society, to 'live'?? (well. before u hasten to switch off thinking I'm out with another social issue, stay!! I'm not going to discuss any social issue here!! cool... and carry on! :-) )

Here are four most prominent emotions/outlooks towards life that stem from my experience... let me know if you know more...

1) Life is 'awesome' : This is quite a rare feeling I've felt with people around me so far... only a very very few seem to feel life is awesome!! wats that 'awesomeness' in life? where does that come from?

I feel a sense of 'awesomeness' at life comes not by juxtaposing yourself with your fellow people... that could well lead you to feel life is fair/unfair... 'Awesomeness' is mostly of the paranormal type, I believe... probably this kind of a feeling comes when we cross the limits of human perception and feeling.. not always... but most of the times... the 'paranormality' (I hate the word 'abnormality'!!) need not be of the 'insane' types which it mostly, and wrongly, means (or which is what others make of you mostly!!), it could instead be anything that tilts even slightly from our regular frames of life... The first time it may be paranormal, but the impact may gradually become too strong to make you let it go and make you want for more and more and more until it becomes positively obsessive, (see...obsession need not always be negative... those who don't know what it is to be positively obsessed with something do not know the thrill and excitement that come along with it!!!), and then 'awesome'...

and the few moments/instances that create this 'awe' gradually become so overwhelming that, in the course of time, you just look to pass over every other petty thing that comes ur way, and wait in bated breath for only this moment to return.. the next day or as soon as possible, if u're that lucky to feel it even more frequently!!!

In this sense, I probably cannot better relate the awesomeness of life that I experience, to any other thing than what nature provides me with... and, of course, passionate love is another thing!! but the bell hasn't gone off for me yet!! ;-)

if u've felt anything different to arouse such an extraordinary feeling in you towards life, let me know...

2) Life is 'beautiful' : Undoubtedly... but the best part here is that most of the times, you get to realize life is beautiful only when you put yourself in someone else's shoes... and that someone else happens to be somewhat less blessed than you are, probably inferior (or so you think!!!) to you in more than one way or, unfortunately, are below you due to sheer misfortune!!

but, I also get a feeling that in such a case, we are sometimes either 'forced' to accept that our life is beautiful just because it is not so for the person next to us... or resign to the senses that this is the only possible depth of the beauty of life that we could get to... wat do u think??

or life could also be only beautiful and not awesome if the heart cannot look beyond a certain depth of the beauty of nature and the beauty and depth of the human emotions!! :-P

anything else here??

3) Life is 'not always fair' : This kind of an ambivalent attitude in life is what I observe in most people (is it only me or have u observed it too???), sometimes "fair"--due to their very proper and systematic handling of everyday things without a slip.. (lo, isn't that being a robot!!?? :-P)... sometimes "not fair"-- due to their unavoidable misfortune, or due to sheer stupidity of handling the day-to-day events and cursing life!! But unlike a beautiful life or a ruthless life, you do not have to put yourself in others' shoes...or I should say, you simply can't!!... if you do so, there's no way for you to see the two sides of the coin... fair & unfair...

This is like being a cat on the wall. there's only a thin line of separation between either sides of the neutrality, but it matters a lot which side you tilt toward... how lucky you 'really' are than most others.. or how unlucky you 'think' you are because of your silly misconceptions and lack of perception.... and sometimes because of other evils like hate,greed, addiction too!!!

4) Life is 'ruthless' : If you are of this view, then I say something's seriously wrong with you. Life can never be ruthless unless there is some incorrigible, pessimistic thing inside your head that makes u say so.. (or unless that 'God' really forbid you the right to live and just let you be an animal survivor! this I least suspect to happen!! )

the more you feel this, the worse everyday the emotions of happiness, satisfaction, contentment will grow within you... high time you corrected yourself! in such a situation, try listening to the heart! there will be a thing or two better, to beat the cry of the mind!!...

Note : There may be numerous other attitudes/possibilities of defining life.. but watever they be, I think they'll fit under one or the other of these categories... what do u think?

anything else??

will be back,

cheers,

rajaji.

50 days done...300 to go!

the last hard 50 days,
before the long 'goodbye',
how fast they passed,
i still feel its day one!

came the day..and how!
time to bid adieu for now,
for another dreary 365,
oh.. already 50 done!

just six fold to go,
just three seasons,
won't be too long,
still it's a li'l heavy!

seemed far too long first,
now we know it isn't.
lots will pass in this time,
we'll catch up! no matter.

for now, the roads are parallel,
but not for long, they'd meet.
it'll be our time thereon,
to fly far away! on top of world!

Be the first...

It's yet another 'one-fine-day',
begun with the sun's first ray,
the breeze quite full and strong,
not a moment when nature's wrong!!

drowned in all the same thought,
for the day, so much to be fought,
there isn't a moment to lose,
its' your only call; choose!!

who taught you wrong n right?
nothing's wrong, all right!!
you're drownin in an ocean of lies,
look inside, the ray of hope lies!!

carried on not by the tides,
they gotta be yours, the strides!
know this, more is always less!
life's always like this, ruthless!!

keep moving, the light gets brighter,
loosen up, with time all get tighter!!
hold the head high, cheer up...
catch the spark n fire up!!

none left on shore, all the tide sweeps,
left to be scavenged, in big heaps!
dont' be left to belong there, never!
it's your call,and the only one,ever!!

they don't stay forever, the footprints,
forget them all, start your sprints,
its the only way, to lead the race!!
to ultimate glory! and infinite grace!!

God or Hero???

Well well... however much I try to avoid, it always comes back... this rage, anger or whatever you call it, on God!! I'm not in the idea of hurting anybody's sentiments here, but if you feel this post might hurt you, then pls dont go ahead!! For I'm definitely going to yell at God who in the name of devotion, turns every soul into a criminal.. of some sort or the other... the kinds are innumerable as is the number of Gods we have!!! Nonsense!!

I don't want a God who sits stonedead, who likes to play games with the insanity in the minds of the people, who is determined not to move a limb to destroy all the evil spread all over the world. Then why the hell should He say 'Age after age, I'll be reborn to destroy evil and uphold righteousness' if He can't keep up his words?? I don't see any God coming up anywhere to do what He said He would!! ah ah... You have no idea about the Tenth Incarnation of God supposedly for the Kaliyuga we are in... You'd be surprised if I pointed out all the 'Godliness' that the Tenth incarnation is currently into!! damn!!

Take a look at the below post on what I had to say on God sometime back.. http://foreverrajaji.blogspot.com/2008/01/what-ist-am-i-part-one.html
If that God was really inside each and every one of us, then why should the world still be cruel?? I tell you, it's a really really cruel world out there!!!

When that God said 'self is the ultimate ruler', I was a bit overwhelmed and even began considering myself a supremo, only that I can't lift mountains with a finger or dance on a snake's head or whatever... I began looking upto myself as a hero, a savior, whatever you call it... but sadly, I'm still human and not a hero, not a savior... I know there's a hero in each and every one of us, but I don't know how that hero will rise!!

All my hopes of some invisible hand sweeping the dust off the world are being shattered as each day progresses... The thin line between my being an agnostic or an atheist is slowly breaking away... I don't think I'll be falling at the foot of any statue in any place of worship hereafter!!

I don't want a God anymore to come to the rescue of the innocent and the destitute... even if He's there, He won't come, I know!! I want a hero!! I don't know how a hero is born but I'm sure that a hero is not born with a unique character, an untold determination to uphold whatever righteousness that the God said He would do. I guess a hero is born out of inspiration... but there should have been a hero before you in the first place to inspire you!! Isn't it?? Where did that first hero come from?? Could he have been drawing inspiration from God??!!! Oh man, what a maze this is?!!!

Alright alright... without infuriating you any further, I'll conclude...
God isn't coming any sooner to set things right, atleast not for me yet... and I'm not going to be expecting him hereafter with 'hopeless hopes'. All I can say is that a hero will be born soon!!! There's so much to be done but so few to do it... I think the day isn't far when one more will join the 'few' to do all that is to be done!!!

will be back,
cheers,
rajaji.

In the brink of extinction

I see that the last post I did was on the 29th of June. It's hard to believe that three months have passed in a jiffy since I still vividly remember the scenes that came to my mind when I wrote that tribute to my soulmate!!! Well... before you jump into any conclusions too fast.. I have not found my soulmate!! and I don't think it will happen anytime!!!

Now, to the present...
I know this blog is in the brink of extinction... I started it on the 1st of August 2007... with so much enthusiasm and interest. Now I see that it has moved well into its second year and it doesn't look like a blog at all!!!...Its ok... what can this lifeless thing do if I forget to mind it?? Lifeless is it?? nah... it's the best living slave and I'm the Master and Commander.. Could this thing dare to defy my orders??!

It is very difficult to understand 'time'... even more so to master the art of time-management(or whatever bullshit that is!!!) well.. atleast for me... Gone are the days when I used to see 'time' as something that I have complete control on.. but not anymore... now..if I sound like a pessimistic, lazy, irresponsible blah blah blah sort of person... well.. I don't mind... Seeing all the useless nonsense and the depravity that the improper usage of time causes in the minds of many, I doubt whether it will do any good at all to seriously invest so much time to learn the art of time management in a totally abusive way and produce all nonsense!! (I truly respect the 'out-of-the-world' kind of people who ARE able to do good to others and to the world!!!) and I'm not a 'Yogi' to transcend time!! Not yet!!! I cannot understand time just like how I cannot understand God!!! (Ok Ok... I'm not going to talk about God again.. atleast not for now... be cool..)

I noticed a superb cartoon in today's newspaper depicting the current financial crisis(well.. 'money matters' is another area that is all greek and latin to me!! and this is another nonsense to me!!).. The cartoon has a bear and a tiger sitting on top of the globe, tiger representing 'terror' and the bear 'market terror'.. the bear says to the tiger "Well.. I thrive on greed.. and you??"... What a piece that cartoon is!! I seriously cannot understand (and probably never will) how 'greed' is capable of being the ultimate dictator accomplishing everything at the cost of honesty,ethics,morals and what not??!

Now, after reading this far, what do you think I cannot understand??
[a] I cannot understand 'time'.
[b] I cannot understand 'God'.
[c] I cannot understand 'money matters'.
[d] I cannot understand 'greed' (The ultimate ruler).
[e] All the above!!

Well... Is it true that 'time is life'?? If not, what is life?? Is there a life without 'God' or atleast a figment of imagination called 'God'??(I'm very curious to understand the life of an atheist; If you are one, please let me know), Or is there a life without 'Money', or without 'Greed'(oh yeah!! definitely... but in this case it's not 'your' life... it is Greed's).. Isn't it??

Ok..so.. is it only my blog that is in the brink of extinction now?? ;-) ;-)

Very soon, I'll talk about Love, happiness, freedom etc... Pray that 'very soon' isn't far away!!!!

will be back...
(not cheerful now!!)
rajaji...

Stay with me...

Give me your hand, I'm so slow,
for me, unlike you, life doesn't flow,
here I am stuck in a whole mess,
nowhere close to any wholeness.

Look at me, scorched in heat,
but look at you, full of beat,
its you I hold on to tightly,
come, let's get lost, lightly..

Drowned in thoughts as I'm,
around me, everyone's a mime,
I'm in another world, lost,
please get me out of here,fast.

How come I landed up here,
where every life runs on fear,
where every life lingers badly,
its you I find truly Godly.

In a world which none fare,
with you, here I am to dare,
amidst all deaths and screams,
let's find peace in dreams.

What am I after, I don't know,
but I know it's never, if not now,
not of the infinite but only a few,
the only godsend that I see is YOU!!

Back with a tag..

Back again after almost a month.. with another tag, this time too from my dear li'l sis...

3 JOYS:
Love of life,
Solitude,
Contemplation

3 FEARS:

What to fear when I'm here!!!!


3 GOALS:

There's no '3'... Someday I'll rule this world!! thats the only thing on the list..


3 RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS:
I'm still sane!!!
My usual sleep quota has suddenly gone down!!
Have been successfully avoiding chaat n masala items for a long time !! only healthy food(wowww!!)


3 CURRENT OBSSESSIONS:
Photography..(I love my Canon SD 750)
Books (currently Swami Vivekananda & Sir Bertrand Russell)
Fruit juices(man its too hot in chennai)


This is actually a very small tag, but sis added lots more and made it superb..
Sorry sis, I'm not able to do that... :D :D you know how good am at this stuff!!! ;)
so this will be it for now.. will be back soon with my usual kind of stuff soon..

bye for now...
cheers,
rajaji.