I wish to address this double play of two faces I most often experience personally or in the society around me. All of us express ourselves differently and uniquely to our fellow men to convey something; maybe to create a good impression, show a sign of thoughtfulness, acceptance, good or bad mood, but most of us do not realize that they all are short-lived, the expressions and the signs.We also do not realize that the other party couldn't care less about us once the moments have passed. (unless, of course, one has a gripping face with a soul-stirring expression). They are like the brief poses for a photograph; every one of us look good in our photographs. And it is surprising to see how one could judge someone from their facial expressions that last no longer than two to three seconds. I do not believe in first impressions! And the importance we place on it and our continual efforts for improving the looks to create a good first impression could not be explained in a better way than taking a look at the tremendously successful cosmetic products industry.
In reality, we all have two faces; the outer one which is visibly static, and the inner one which is actually dynamic.
The outer static is intermittent as in expressing a smile or a frown at any one we come across for a moment or two. (Well, in some cases it happens to be minutes, hours and even days, that's a different case.) The outer static, I think, is a result of two things: One, a combination of basic human instinct and social conditioning: basic instinct to gain acceptance in the larger tribe or society through favorable expressions, emotions and behavior, and the conditioning by civilization and society to always look good to others, to show that someone is in good mood and spirits. It is merely being presentable to others, to show to others that someone is approachable at that moment for whatever reasons, a conversation, a favor, a company etc.; a brief sign of apparent good look for entry into his/her circle. Basically, it's a sign of social development that a human being should look good to his fellow men so that the others will be so too for whatever that may follow the initial signs of acceptance and entry. I do not intend to talk more about this part, for things like the 'studies of the effects of human civilization and social development in the need for personal physical beauty and presentability' are way over my head!
Two, and this is a dangerous thing, a worthless feeling that we feel good when we look good. In reality, we should be feeling good when we actually feel good inside, or at the most, look good in our own eyes, not when we look good to others! I know this defies the basic law of physical attraction, but there is a reality hidden in it. I find it difficult to understand what makes people believe they feel good when they look good to others,of course, apart from the momentary recognition/acceptance of the presence of a fellow being, as said earlier. To my understanding, the only ones who should be feeling so are the people in the cosmetic products industry because they need to make their customers look good! Everything here, again, is a simple sign of wanting to be accepted by others. Nothing to be said here beyond this.
What I really like to think about, and talk about, is the inner dynamic face. This should really be the face that should matter most to an individual. It shows one's state of being to oneself, not the state of looking to oneself or others. It is dynamic because it is made of the thoughts that flow from one's mind, thoughts that are either connected or distinct, continuous or discrete, structured or random. It is dynamic because it always looks to correct itself based on its experience with other forces inward and outward. To me, the dominance of the state of inner dynamic over the outer static is in a way an indicator of feeling of self-worth and self-esteem. One should realize how one feels when he/she feels good at (for) himself/herself and when (if) he/she thinks he/she looks good to others. If and when there is quite a leak in the former, it doesn't matter what others pour unto him/her because of his/her looks, because what he/she tries to fill then is a leaking cup of self-worth with the contents of others' opinions.
There is a clear danger of the increasing importance placed nowadays on the outer static than on the inner dynamic (now more than ever, because of the explosion of social networks) by people who anxiously spend most of their waking day to know what others think of him/her, to know who likes them (actually 'their photographs') etc.. How the worthless importance of the outer static slowly creeps on the inner dynamic is quite stupefying if one takes time to realize the same. I have done so, and still do, and everyday brings an understanding of the pure waste of time on the same and the need to avoid it. The consequence of this would be overlooked if one does not realize how much of the time and effort that could be spent on introspection aimed at self development is driven away into unproductive knowledge of one's time-killing activities to be liked by others! (Guilty as charged, I feel stupid for the time I have wasted on it so far. This could be read as a confession of the same, and an indication of Exodus from it!)
What is increasingly happening is the dislodging of the once-undisputed belief that one's worth was from what was within that person and not from without (i.e outside of him/her), the kind of belief that earlier civilizations had on the days of their influential philosophers, thinkers, writers or anyone on those lines; The likes of Socrates, Pluto or anybody from those ages to our present era. From what we know/see from eras of art, portrays, busts, and what not, is that Socrates, probably, was not handsome, but he could not have cared less , nor could his followers have. What seemed to matter, then, to himself and his fellow men was the overflowing wisdom from within their minds, hearts and souls, and what their followers revered them for.
What we have in our generation is a silly belief that "Face is the index of the mind", yet completely misreading it. Sometimes, we also read it as "Face is the index of others' minds"! We all want to look good, to be thought beautiful and handsome, to be praised by others, to be spoken of by others. And the lengths we go to to present ourselves as acceptable by others is stupefying. If face really was the index of one's mind, what do we need the cosmetics for? Or, if face really was the index of others' mind, then where is our own view of ourselves? Would we not rather we spent our worthwhile time and effort on building inner beauty (read 'self-worth'), on accumulating knowledge, on making the inner dynamic more beautiful?
What we think others see in us, inside or outside, is the very same thing as what others think we see in them. And almost always, both are wrong, and both have wasted precious time and effort in that false-belief! What we see of ourselves on our own minds is infinitely more important than what we see, or think we see, on others'! Think about it.
Rajaji.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
On freedom
Of all things thougt of as honorable and desirable for a fulfilling life, I find freedom to be the most elusive, hard to possess, and near-impossible to be permanent. It is appropriate to view freedom as that fleeting, elusive, unfulfilled, yet largely unattained wish. It is also appropriate to say freedom is above any other feeling, even love, for love largely comes with conditions, either of the society, the individual, or more personally, the ego. A commoditized love, shall I say, always traded and mostly undervalued? (As for myself, I believe there is only one way love can be, that is unconditional. I'll write about unconditional love later)
The freedom talked about here is, again, considered from the three greatest things in all of life, the mind, the heart, and the soul**. The following is to be read after The Liberating Order for some of the following thoughts are on similar lines, and references are made to some of those.
Being the base of reason, judgment and calculation, the mind sees everything in give-and-take terms, and rightly so. Reason demands a precursor for any action, be it reactive or proactive. Reason comes with terms and conditions that it cannot work independent of an underlying situation it attempts to address. Reason weighs alternatives carefully, and it is apprehensive of action if there are no alternatives. Judgment borne out of such a complicated reasoning mechanism is not always unbiased. The problem with reason is that it changes its logic too often. An ability to overly adapt to changing situations is a danger sign of instability of the judgment following the reason. I refute Baruch Spinoza and I reiterate my view that reason, itself, is subjective depending on the circumstance and occurence of the underlying event. Thus I find the mind to be unable to enjoy and be thankful for the infinite pleasures of life that have no underlying reason to be there. It is too preoccupied with its calculations and always figures out a way to show interdependence of events and judgments. How can freedom be felt then?
The heart is a lot more accommodating and adaptive in situations crumpled by reason alone. From common and everyday events to big, life-changing and unique situations, the heart has an answer. Reason has no place in the quest of adventures, thrills and many serendipitous situations Mother Nature has to offer for a buoyant, lively individual. The reasoning mind says that it'd be silly, (nowadays it says 'suicidal') to go for a stroll on a scorching summer afternoon, but the little thrill and joy that the scorching sun bestows could be felt only by a lively heart. The mind would see, say, an approaching solar flare as doomsday, but only a queer, cheerful, and an unsually unbounded heart could see the splendor and brilliance of Mother Nature at her best! So what if it is the end of days? At last, there shall be freedom! Such is the feeling arising out of an unbounded, unbonded heart.
The reasoning mind says saving (many things, primarily money and materials these days) today pays handsomely in the future, but these are things that a pure heart, unadulterated by a reasoning mind for wants of material pleasures, finds funny. A pure, spirited heart sees no precursors or underlying situations to act on or to base the future actions on, for precursors and underlying situations demand thinking and reasoning - tasks best left to the mind. A pure, spirited heart just wants to have the 'been there, done that' feeling, a feeling that is both a cause and an effect of a feeling of freedom - unbound, 'no holds barred', limitless, but unfortunately, ephemeral. This is why unconditional love (Is there another kind? I think not. And I'd probably be the last man standing to think so) is eclipsed only by freedom.
Finally, the closest I come to believe in a supernatural power is an untainted soul. I'm reconsidering my earlier judgment (damn my reasoning mind!) that the soul is the outcome of thoughts and emotions and that it could want freedom too. I just wish I could find out soon whether the soul too wishes for freedom or the soul is but the outcome of the freedom of a liberated mind and a liberated heart.
** If any psychologist or a philosopher happens to read this, please have the mercy to overlook the fallacies of my reasons, judgment and opinions. I write little based on what I think but largely based on what I feel.
(P.S: If you have time, take a look at this too. Now looking back, I'm wondering where I picked up such a linkage between freedom and survival from! Gone are those years of queer thoughts!)
Rajaji
The freedom talked about here is, again, considered from the three greatest things in all of life, the mind, the heart, and the soul**. The following is to be read after The Liberating Order for some of the following thoughts are on similar lines, and references are made to some of those.
Being the base of reason, judgment and calculation, the mind sees everything in give-and-take terms, and rightly so. Reason demands a precursor for any action, be it reactive or proactive. Reason comes with terms and conditions that it cannot work independent of an underlying situation it attempts to address. Reason weighs alternatives carefully, and it is apprehensive of action if there are no alternatives. Judgment borne out of such a complicated reasoning mechanism is not always unbiased. The problem with reason is that it changes its logic too often. An ability to overly adapt to changing situations is a danger sign of instability of the judgment following the reason. I refute Baruch Spinoza and I reiterate my view that reason, itself, is subjective depending on the circumstance and occurence of the underlying event. Thus I find the mind to be unable to enjoy and be thankful for the infinite pleasures of life that have no underlying reason to be there. It is too preoccupied with its calculations and always figures out a way to show interdependence of events and judgments. How can freedom be felt then?
The heart is a lot more accommodating and adaptive in situations crumpled by reason alone. From common and everyday events to big, life-changing and unique situations, the heart has an answer. Reason has no place in the quest of adventures, thrills and many serendipitous situations Mother Nature has to offer for a buoyant, lively individual. The reasoning mind says that it'd be silly, (nowadays it says 'suicidal') to go for a stroll on a scorching summer afternoon, but the little thrill and joy that the scorching sun bestows could be felt only by a lively heart. The mind would see, say, an approaching solar flare as doomsday, but only a queer, cheerful, and an unsually unbounded heart could see the splendor and brilliance of Mother Nature at her best! So what if it is the end of days? At last, there shall be freedom! Such is the feeling arising out of an unbounded, unbonded heart.
The reasoning mind says saving (many things, primarily money and materials these days) today pays handsomely in the future, but these are things that a pure heart, unadulterated by a reasoning mind for wants of material pleasures, finds funny. A pure, spirited heart sees no precursors or underlying situations to act on or to base the future actions on, for precursors and underlying situations demand thinking and reasoning - tasks best left to the mind. A pure, spirited heart just wants to have the 'been there, done that' feeling, a feeling that is both a cause and an effect of a feeling of freedom - unbound, 'no holds barred', limitless, but unfortunately, ephemeral. This is why unconditional love (Is there another kind? I think not. And I'd probably be the last man standing to think so) is eclipsed only by freedom.
Finally, the closest I come to believe in a supernatural power is an untainted soul. I'm reconsidering my earlier judgment (damn my reasoning mind!) that the soul is the outcome of thoughts and emotions and that it could want freedom too. I just wish I could find out soon whether the soul too wishes for freedom or the soul is but the outcome of the freedom of a liberated mind and a liberated heart.
** If any psychologist or a philosopher happens to read this, please have the mercy to overlook the fallacies of my reasons, judgment and opinions. I write little based on what I think but largely based on what I feel.
(P.S: If you have time, take a look at this too. Now looking back, I'm wondering where I picked up such a linkage between freedom and survival from! Gone are those years of queer thoughts!)
Rajaji
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Between leap years
A chronicle of some of the most significant and memorable events of my life between two leap years 2008 and 2012.
Hope the next four years are eventful as well.
Rajaji.
- Selected as a 'Commissioned Officer' for the Indian Navy (which I declined) - May '09
- Selected for BIM - May '09
- Quit Zoho.com - May '09
- Andaman & Nicobar tour with Bharath - June '09
- RAGHAV born - the magic in our family - June '09
- Joined BIM (My best decision!) - July '09
- Crescita '09 - November '09
- Athenaeum '10 - February '10
(Wonder where the months between July '09 to April '10, and again between July '10 to April '11 flew. It's a separate post for BIM chronicles, covering all events, culturals, sports, fights, revolutions, friendships etc.!) - UPDATE: Farewell to Gokul & Nivetha on their Singapore stint - May '10
- Google Summer Internship - May '10
- Hampi tour with Google interns - June '10
- Campus placement - November '10
- Crescita '10 - November '10
- BIM batch tour - March '11
- Kodaikanal tour with Bharath - April '11
- Gokarna tour - April '11
- Goa (Abhinav Apte's home visit) - April '11
- Bangalore - Vidu's home visit - April '11
- Hyderabad for work - June '11
- Prasanna's Wedding - July '11
Hope the next four years are eventful as well.
Rajaji.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Favorite Movie Dialogue #4
It is 'The Shawshank Redemption' again!
Red's narration after tarring the roof and having beer with fellows (00:35:00)
Will this ever slip the heart?!
Red's narration after tarring the roof and having beer with fellows (00:35:00)
And that's how it came to pass... that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the Spring of '49, wound up sitting in a row at 10'o clock in the morning, drinking icy cold Bohemia style beer.. courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank state prison. The colossal prick even managed to sound magnanimous. We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could've been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy, he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer.
Will this ever slip the heart?!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
For the love of thoughts
I'm always amused by my thoughts. Or I should say thought beats, for most of the times they manage to vanish at the same speed they occur. Most of my thoughts are still random. They don't have a direction, a purpose or anything to take a definite shape and become the process that I'd generally expect them to. It's one of the reasons why I've never been able to write 'Part-2' for many posts I had intended to, for once I complete the first parts, I'm left scrambling for the thoughts. I think it is this nature that makes my thoughts lovable to me, that makes them seem both eternal and transitory to me. The reason most of them appear in this blog is simply that they find a space to reside forever, should I ever want to know how I thought of them in the first place.
Another thing I like about my thoughts is that most of them are polemics! Sometimes I'm flattered by own thoughts, at other times embarrassed. Over the years, sometimes, they have occurred mostly against your gods, the society, people's attitude towards things in life, capitalism, materialism, and what not. And at other times, they have occurred on love, duty, passion, objectivism (very little here till now, I guess it will grow with time), Mother Nature etc. In both the cases, my thoughts have always been against the general mentality and outlook of the common lot. And I really enjoy every bit of it.
Some thoughts have made life-changing impact, whereas some have been as fleeting as a firefly's light. I have enjoyed my thoughts both ways, for there is an indescribable pleasure in both. The only regret with the ephemeral ones is my inability to keep them in my mind for the shortest time even to jot down the gist, from which I could develop the process. Alas, there is so much distraction in the world during the conscious day time, that one wonders if thoughts wait for the night and to emerge out of the subconscious. I haven't experienced it, though I'd like that to happen and see how it feels to spring out of the bed from deep sleep, and catch hold of an idea. The Eureka sorts, you see!
Rajaji.
Another thing I like about my thoughts is that most of them are polemics! Sometimes I'm flattered by own thoughts, at other times embarrassed. Over the years, sometimes, they have occurred mostly against your gods, the society, people's attitude towards things in life, capitalism, materialism, and what not. And at other times, they have occurred on love, duty, passion, objectivism (very little here till now, I guess it will grow with time), Mother Nature etc. In both the cases, my thoughts have always been against the general mentality and outlook of the common lot. And I really enjoy every bit of it.
Some thoughts have made life-changing impact, whereas some have been as fleeting as a firefly's light. I have enjoyed my thoughts both ways, for there is an indescribable pleasure in both. The only regret with the ephemeral ones is my inability to keep them in my mind for the shortest time even to jot down the gist, from which I could develop the process. Alas, there is so much distraction in the world during the conscious day time, that one wonders if thoughts wait for the night and to emerge out of the subconscious. I haven't experienced it, though I'd like that to happen and see how it feels to spring out of the bed from deep sleep, and catch hold of an idea. The Eureka sorts, you see!
Rajaji.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Favorite Movie Dialogue #3
A recent find... nevertheless a brilliant movie.. 'K-PAX'
Prot's (Kevin Spacey) closing words to Mark (Jeff Bridges)
Movie: K-PAX
Cast: Kevin Spacey (Man.. what a charming performance!), Jeff Bridges
Director: Iain Softley
Prot's (Kevin Spacey) closing words to Mark (Jeff Bridges)
I want to tell you something Mark, something you do not yet know, but we K-PAXians have been around long enough to have discovered. The universe will expand, and it will collapse back on itself, and then it will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don't know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you'll live through, again... and again...forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around, because... this time is all you have!
Movie: K-PAX
Cast: Kevin Spacey (Man.. what a charming performance!), Jeff Bridges
Director: Iain Softley
Favorite Movie Dialogue #2
No.2 from 'The Shawshank Redemption' again.
(Red narrating after listening to the song in prison. (Time: 1:05:00))
Note: Don't be surprised if, eventually, you find the whole narration of the movie here!
Note 2: The above note should have come in the first part itself!
(Red narrating after listening to the song in prison. (Time: 1:05:00))
I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were signing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away...and for the briefest of moments, every last man at Shawshank felt free.
Note: Don't be surprised if, eventually, you find the whole narration of the movie here!
Note 2: The above note should have come in the first part itself!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
உலகிற்கு அன்பு
சுற்றம் எங்கு காணினும் சுகம் தொலைத்த மழலைகள்
அலைபாயும் மனதிலே ஆசை கோடி உண்டு வாழ்வதற்கு,
குற்றமொன்றும் செய்திரா குழந்தைக் கெங்கு நம்பிக்கை,
மண்ணில் வீழ்ந்த இலைகளாய் தொலைந்து விட்ட பசுமைகள்
பட்டம் யாவும் பெற்றிருந்தும் பண்பு மறந்த மானிடா
மட்டமாகி கலங்கினர் உன் கையில் சிக்கி மாந்தர்கள்
செக்கு போலே சுற்றி ஓய்ந்து கரைந்தனர் கற்களாய்,
கற்களுக்குள் வீற்றிருக்கும் இதையம் தன்னை உற்றுப்பார்.
ஏதுமாக்கி செல்வம் செய்ய போதை கண்ட மனங்களே,
ஏதுமாகி மாந்தர் வாழ உள்ளம் கொண்டு எழுங்களே
சாம்பல் உடல் காலம் கண்டு சேருமே இம்மண்ணிலே,
காலம் கடந்து வாழுமே உயிர் சுயம் கடந்த அன்பிலே...
அலைபாயும் மனதிலே ஆசை கோடி உண்டு வாழ்வதற்கு,
குற்றமொன்றும் செய்திரா குழந்தைக் கெங்கு நம்பிக்கை,
மண்ணில் வீழ்ந்த இலைகளாய் தொலைந்து விட்ட பசுமைகள்
பட்டம் யாவும் பெற்றிருந்தும் பண்பு மறந்த மானிடா
மட்டமாகி கலங்கினர் உன் கையில் சிக்கி மாந்தர்கள்
செக்கு போலே சுற்றி ஓய்ந்து கரைந்தனர் கற்களாய்,
கற்களுக்குள் வீற்றிருக்கும் இதையம் தன்னை உற்றுப்பார்.
ஏதுமாக்கி செல்வம் செய்ய போதை கண்ட மனங்களே,
ஏதுமாகி மாந்தர் வாழ உள்ளம் கொண்டு எழுங்களே
சாம்பல் உடல் காலம் கண்டு சேருமே இம்மண்ணிலே,
காலம் கடந்து வாழுமே உயிர் சுயம் கடந்த அன்பிலே...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
மனம் ஆடும் விளையாட்டு
கரணம் கூட பொருத்திராது உடன்
கடலில் சேரும் அலை கரையை நீங்கி,
நிகழ்வு சிறிதே ஆயினும் அதனழகு பெரிது,
இவ்விளையாட்டு தொடரும் காலம் கடந்து.
மனமும் தோன்றும் அலையை போலே,உனை
மீண்டும் மீண்டும் சேர்ந்தும் நீங்கியும் , இனி
உன் நினைவுகளை அடக்க ஏதும் வழியிலாது,
அடங்கி போனேன் இந்த ஜட வாழ்க்கையிலே
---
கடலில் சேரும் அலை கரையை நீங்கி,
நிகழ்வு சிறிதே ஆயினும் அதனழகு பெரிது,
இவ்விளையாட்டு தொடரும் காலம் கடந்து.
மனமும் தோன்றும் அலையை போலே,உனை
மீண்டும் மீண்டும் சேர்ந்தும் நீங்கியும் , இனி
உன் நினைவுகளை அடக்க ஏதும் வழியிலாது,
அடங்கி போனேன் இந்த ஜட வாழ்க்கையிலே
---
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Favorite Movie Dialogue #1
This tops the list.
Movie: The Shawshank Redemption
Cast: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman
Director: Frank Darabont.
Dear Red,
If you're reading this, you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further. You remember the name of the town, don't you? I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I'll keep an eye out for you, and the chessboard ready. Remember, Red, hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies. I'll be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well.
Your friend,
Andy.
Movie: The Shawshank Redemption
Cast: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman
Director: Frank Darabont.
Favorite Movie Dialogues
I'm starting this series to capture my favorite dialogues from the movies. As I start to watch more and more meaningful and worthwhile movies, the list is getting bigger which I'm not able to store on my dumb brain!
In one way or the other, these dialogues and the movies have left a profound impact on me, the effects of which I'll live and re-live all over again, every dawn. Some of these have even been dramatic in terms of changing my outlook towards life, permanently.
Watch the label for future posts on this.
May I be excused for the predominance of English movies and dialogues in this series!
Enjoy them.
Rajaji.
In one way or the other, these dialogues and the movies have left a profound impact on me, the effects of which I'll live and re-live all over again, every dawn. Some of these have even been dramatic in terms of changing my outlook towards life, permanently.
Watch the label for future posts on this.
May I be excused for the predominance of English movies and dialogues in this series!
Enjoy them.
Rajaji.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Those still days
Yes, it's a 'looking back' post. I can never get enough of it. Particularly when it's a heaven I have moved out of and look back on it sitting in a call-it-whatever-you-want world!
There's always a longing to step into those gates which somehow magically seem to transport me from wherever I am to that heaven. It would be one place where I'd say 'it's not so much about the people as it is about the place' because of the equal effects of being in constant touch with the people from the place, but physically missing the place which has been the next best thing to home. Re-living two years in four days wasn't a big thing when all I needed to do was to lie down on any spot on that heaven and take a few deep breaths with eyes closed.The memories always came rushing in.
Anyway, now that I've officially departed from the heaven, it makes things all the more reasonable to hold on to it, only with more freedom.
As I once commented on one of the most revered 'things' in that heaven, The Untouchables' stonebench, 'You can take the thing out of the place, but never the men out of it', there's truth in every bit of it!
This post is simply an intention to keep the memories flowing, for I'm sure I'll be back here at some point in time, reading this and feel that those days would never pass!
There's always a longing to step into those gates which somehow magically seem to transport me from wherever I am to that heaven. It would be one place where I'd say 'it's not so much about the people as it is about the place' because of the equal effects of being in constant touch with the people from the place, but physically missing the place which has been the next best thing to home. Re-living two years in four days wasn't a big thing when all I needed to do was to lie down on any spot on that heaven and take a few deep breaths with eyes closed.The memories always came rushing in.
Anyway, now that I've officially departed from the heaven, it makes things all the more reasonable to hold on to it, only with more freedom.
As I once commented on one of the most revered 'things' in that heaven, The Untouchables' stonebench, 'You can take the thing out of the place, but never the men out of it', there's truth in every bit of it!
This post is simply an intention to keep the memories flowing, for I'm sure I'll be back here at some point in time, reading this and feel that those days would never pass!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
On being straightforward
Happy New Year to everyone. Hope the year has started off on a good note. May all your dreams come true.
When I was penning down the 2011 wrap-up post and was running up things-to-do for this year, I saw that I had spent significantly less time on things I had wanted to write about, most of them being still in the draft stages. Sometimes I felt I'm going overboard for myself or at other times I lost some of those thoughts on the way. Some of the posts make me wonder where I picked up those crazy thoughts from, and make me consider the prospect of writing less number of posts on confusing and fleeting ideas, lest I should drive away the few merciful souls who take the time to read all that I write and comment religiously. But ironically, you're all the people who are there to bear the craziness I bring forth in all my thoughts! In that way, you're all my inspirations! Thus I welcome you to this year with the first thought-post!
I'm no fan of adages, and I find myself in no need or abundance to quote anything to others on how to live life, how to learn lessons etc. Anything I experience I'm sensible enough to keep it to myself. That applies to judging people in life too, and learning from them. That said, I do have opinions of people and their character, generally, but no one in particular. One such case of opinion is on being straightforward. I do not have any personal experience or lesson for me in life from being simply straightforward. But I think, the quality of straightforwardness is not being given its due recognition; as that of the base for two other qualities, namely integrity, which is a virtue, and honesty, which apparently is a virtue. (but who decides what is a virtue and what is not?). Though both are used interchangeably, I still hold my opinion that there is a world of difference between honesty and integrity. Here again is a conflict on two different and widely held opinions; one, that honesty is the best policy (Anon), and the other, that One should never be too honest, straight trees are always cut first (Chanakya). So, I leave it to the discretion of the reader to choose what suits him/her best. I only intend to opine on straightforwardness, which according to me is neither a virtue nor a vice, but simply a characteristic, unique and distinct in degree, in each individual.
By and large, there does not seem to be a majority for straightforwardness being perceived as a virtue or as a vice. The case for straightforwardness is one of 'brought up' from childhood, and may be of 'human instinct' too. The former I can talk a little about, but not the latter, since that requires a psychologist's opinion. I personally think there is quite a lot of social conditioning and conditioning through education on a child's mind about being straightforward. But beyond education, society conditions a child in numerous other ways also, which put together are weighed against education. Ultimately, what the child believes in and eventually wants to be, depends on which of the two has the most influence on him/her. I, for one, was influenced by the society, and still continue to be done so. And I wasn't spared of the troubles of the mind and the heart in choosing one way over the other. The question is not on the universal agreement that it is primarily a matter of perception, but it is one of 'perception in whose eyes'? It is essentially asking oneself 'Am I characteristically, and by nature, straightforward in my own eyes, or am I wanting to be perceived by others as straightforward or not?' And consequentially, 'Am I holding my integrity, or am I just wanting to be honest?'. This is the typical situation most siblings find themselves in, when it comes to protecting their little one from their parents for some misdeed or the other, and the situation extends itself into friendship during the growing years of adolescence and eventually in all relationships into adulthood. While protecting them or not is a matter of self-righteousness (Why should I feel bad for saving/not saving him/her this way?!), the trigger for that is the effect of moral education and social conditioning on the upbringing of that child.
From another prominent angle, I think most often straightforwardness is perceived as rudeness. I'm not sure whether being straightforward is characteristic of the heart or the mind, but it is generally not considered a good thing to speak openly what one feels/thinks. Some flavoring is always desired irrespective of the audience.This again is driven from the early years of conditioning in the name of social manners. This takes the most common form of gossiping or backbiting about someone to someone else, but pretending to be good to him/her in person. Thus, from the point of view of society, there is no definite answer to 'what does being straightforward lead one to?'. It's largely a matter of individual preference towards a society of either active, spirited, like-minded people, or a society of dead-men-walking.
Secondly, on a smaller scope: beyond a point in life, once the trust radius of people is definitively set, it doesn't really change things in any way by being blunt and straightforward to both the trust radius and the outsiders, i.e. those outside of the trust radius. In such an environment, being straightforward does maintain the vitality of the individual in terms of active agreement/disagreement with the insiders and outsiders alike, and thus toward a spirited defiance of one's freedom of choice. Simply put, as some say, "Be yourself. For those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".
Having considered the society at large, and then the smaller trust radius, it is apt to talk about the individual and the ego. We are all egoists. We are all selfish. We are all simply human, after all! Uniqueness, being the universally unique character of each person, grants everyone unique and distinct ways of protecting the ego! One such is being straightforward, where the individual is 'as-is' and shuns any degree of relatedness and connectivity with others' thoughts, feelings and actions. In that way, I believe it is rightly helpful to be straightforward, for in straightforwardness there is a degree of opacity for an ego to protect itself, rather than being a mirror to others' thoughts, feelings and actions, by aping and imitating others, particularly their ways of social behavior. But does being a mirror help in any way to maintaining the independence and freedom of one's own conscience?
I agree this is sounding more like a principle of individualism. But, whatever be the case, being straightforward does boost the self-esteem in one's own eyes. If one cannot be straightforward within, one can never be straightforward without! And if that isn't the virtue of integrity, what is?
When I was penning down the 2011 wrap-up post and was running up things-to-do for this year, I saw that I had spent significantly less time on things I had wanted to write about, most of them being still in the draft stages. Sometimes I felt I'm going overboard for myself or at other times I lost some of those thoughts on the way. Some of the posts make me wonder where I picked up those crazy thoughts from, and make me consider the prospect of writing less number of posts on confusing and fleeting ideas, lest I should drive away the few merciful souls who take the time to read all that I write and comment religiously. But ironically, you're all the people who are there to bear the craziness I bring forth in all my thoughts! In that way, you're all my inspirations! Thus I welcome you to this year with the first thought-post!
I'm no fan of adages, and I find myself in no need or abundance to quote anything to others on how to live life, how to learn lessons etc. Anything I experience I'm sensible enough to keep it to myself. That applies to judging people in life too, and learning from them. That said, I do have opinions of people and their character, generally, but no one in particular. One such case of opinion is on being straightforward. I do not have any personal experience or lesson for me in life from being simply straightforward. But I think, the quality of straightforwardness is not being given its due recognition; as that of the base for two other qualities, namely integrity, which is a virtue, and honesty, which apparently is a virtue. (but who decides what is a virtue and what is not?). Though both are used interchangeably, I still hold my opinion that there is a world of difference between honesty and integrity. Here again is a conflict on two different and widely held opinions; one, that honesty is the best policy (Anon), and the other, that One should never be too honest, straight trees are always cut first (Chanakya). So, I leave it to the discretion of the reader to choose what suits him/her best. I only intend to opine on straightforwardness, which according to me is neither a virtue nor a vice, but simply a characteristic, unique and distinct in degree, in each individual.
By and large, there does not seem to be a majority for straightforwardness being perceived as a virtue or as a vice. The case for straightforwardness is one of 'brought up' from childhood, and may be of 'human instinct' too. The former I can talk a little about, but not the latter, since that requires a psychologist's opinion. I personally think there is quite a lot of social conditioning and conditioning through education on a child's mind about being straightforward. But beyond education, society conditions a child in numerous other ways also, which put together are weighed against education. Ultimately, what the child believes in and eventually wants to be, depends on which of the two has the most influence on him/her. I, for one, was influenced by the society, and still continue to be done so. And I wasn't spared of the troubles of the mind and the heart in choosing one way over the other. The question is not on the universal agreement that it is primarily a matter of perception, but it is one of 'perception in whose eyes'? It is essentially asking oneself 'Am I characteristically, and by nature, straightforward in my own eyes, or am I wanting to be perceived by others as straightforward or not?' And consequentially, 'Am I holding my integrity, or am I just wanting to be honest?'. This is the typical situation most siblings find themselves in, when it comes to protecting their little one from their parents for some misdeed or the other, and the situation extends itself into friendship during the growing years of adolescence and eventually in all relationships into adulthood. While protecting them or not is a matter of self-righteousness (Why should I feel bad for saving/not saving him/her this way?!), the trigger for that is the effect of moral education and social conditioning on the upbringing of that child.
From another prominent angle, I think most often straightforwardness is perceived as rudeness. I'm not sure whether being straightforward is characteristic of the heart or the mind, but it is generally not considered a good thing to speak openly what one feels/thinks. Some flavoring is always desired irrespective of the audience.This again is driven from the early years of conditioning in the name of social manners. This takes the most common form of gossiping or backbiting about someone to someone else, but pretending to be good to him/her in person. Thus, from the point of view of society, there is no definite answer to 'what does being straightforward lead one to?'. It's largely a matter of individual preference towards a society of either active, spirited, like-minded people, or a society of dead-men-walking.
Secondly, on a smaller scope: beyond a point in life, once the trust radius of people is definitively set, it doesn't really change things in any way by being blunt and straightforward to both the trust radius and the outsiders, i.e. those outside of the trust radius. In such an environment, being straightforward does maintain the vitality of the individual in terms of active agreement/disagreement with the insiders and outsiders alike, and thus toward a spirited defiance of one's freedom of choice. Simply put, as some say, "Be yourself. For those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".
Having considered the society at large, and then the smaller trust radius, it is apt to talk about the individual and the ego. We are all egoists. We are all selfish. We are all simply human, after all! Uniqueness, being the universally unique character of each person, grants everyone unique and distinct ways of protecting the ego! One such is being straightforward, where the individual is 'as-is' and shuns any degree of relatedness and connectivity with others' thoughts, feelings and actions. In that way, I believe it is rightly helpful to be straightforward, for in straightforwardness there is a degree of opacity for an ego to protect itself, rather than being a mirror to others' thoughts, feelings and actions, by aping and imitating others, particularly their ways of social behavior. But does being a mirror help in any way to maintaining the independence and freedom of one's own conscience?
I agree this is sounding more like a principle of individualism. But, whatever be the case, being straightforward does boost the self-esteem in one's own eyes. If one cannot be straightforward within, one can never be straightforward without! And if that isn't the virtue of integrity, what is?
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Goodbye 2011
Since the yearning, things have changed quite a lot in the 365 days. The student is long gone, and there is an uncomfortable phase of dependence on things and people outside myself in the professional circles. Thankfully, the social circles (not the social networks!) continue to hold me tight and good.
Incongruence continues to grow stronger by the day, yet I somehow find the strength to cling to my fellow day-dreamers and continue to live in an imaginative beautiful world. I'm sure it will turn real soon. There is a lot more clarity on the way I want to live and I'm almost done with the wishes and wants of a materially rich life. I'm sure some of those will never occur again in life, for good. And I consider myself lucky to have realized this early in life. One of the probable reasons why I felt a bit disturbed by a brewing materialistic attitude in myself during the second half of the year is that I'm now around with a lot of salaried, yet indebted employees, settled with families, building up their dream houses and buying their dream cars, sitting on mountains of loans, betting on irrational markets, losing them all and then crying foul; and after such a considerably tensed life for decades, wanting to retire rich! I do not know who I was surprised at, them or myself, though I'm sure that I am the anachronism, misplaced in time. I'm not saying anything against such a life of theirs, only that I can't imagine to be one of them. Resolutely respecting the freedom of 'every man for himself', I'm just saying they have their own ways, and I have mine. Anyway, I hope 2012 brings in a lot more strength and stability to put off that attitude in me, and throws open the door for a fulfilling, quality life. There are many, many ways of living a simple beautiful life, some of which I'm already discovering. They should provide the perfect supplements for my vision of that kind of life.
I'm a little upset with myself that I have not been able to concentrate and develop more on some of my thoughts on the lines of education and inspiration. I hope the second inflection point and the thought-provoking reality from The elusive big idea provide the foundation for a worthwhile thought process in 2012.
Overall, this year has been eye-opening in quite many ways. I've come across inspiring and life-changing works of people in literature/poetry, art (especially music), way of life, etc.. As usual, now for the picks of the year in each category: The below works have left a strong impression and a tremendous inspiration in me to live life the easy, simple, and thus, the happy way.
1. Literature/Poetry: Stream of Life (from the Gitanjali, by Rabindranath Tagore) - This was already quoted in an earlier post, in May. I have never, and probably never will, come across a work as brilliant and spiritually invigorating as this. If it could bring such a great feeling from the translation itself, one could imagine how it should sound in its original, in Bengali. I bow to thee, oh dear Revered Mother Nature! Your inspiration will always guide me in the right way.
2. Music: Praan (Adaptation of the Stream of Life). Kudos to Garry Schyman and Palbasha Siddique for an inspiring rendition.
3. Book: 'Small is Beautiful', the slap-in-the-face view of modern way of uncivilized living, and a guide to simple effective economics! And this was written in 1973! Wonder how many disturbing numbers in that book regarding the depletion of resources has to change if it were edited now! Hats off to E.F.Schumacher. You will always be an inspiration to me to live life simple.
4. Video: Life is easy. Why do we make it so hard? This brilliantly simple truth came in late, at the end of the year, but nevertheless beats anything and everything hands down. Hats off to this great man!
Finally, I would wish to wrap the round-up of 2011 with two inspiring and true quotes, one from Buddha, and one from the Cree Indian Prophecy, from the Cree, one of the largest groups of Native Americans. I'm sure these will remain an eternal inspiration, and an eye-opener, to appreciate the beauty of the journey of life as I see it, and to use as a guide to a life free of cruelty to Mother Nature and full of vigor and passion to live simply and beautifully.
Rajaji.
Incongruence continues to grow stronger by the day, yet I somehow find the strength to cling to my fellow day-dreamers and continue to live in an imaginative beautiful world. I'm sure it will turn real soon. There is a lot more clarity on the way I want to live and I'm almost done with the wishes and wants of a materially rich life. I'm sure some of those will never occur again in life, for good. And I consider myself lucky to have realized this early in life. One of the probable reasons why I felt a bit disturbed by a brewing materialistic attitude in myself during the second half of the year is that I'm now around with a lot of salaried, yet indebted employees, settled with families, building up their dream houses and buying their dream cars, sitting on mountains of loans, betting on irrational markets, losing them all and then crying foul; and after such a considerably tensed life for decades, wanting to retire rich! I do not know who I was surprised at, them or myself, though I'm sure that I am the anachronism, misplaced in time. I'm not saying anything against such a life of theirs, only that I can't imagine to be one of them. Resolutely respecting the freedom of 'every man for himself', I'm just saying they have their own ways, and I have mine. Anyway, I hope 2012 brings in a lot more strength and stability to put off that attitude in me, and throws open the door for a fulfilling, quality life. There are many, many ways of living a simple beautiful life, some of which I'm already discovering. They should provide the perfect supplements for my vision of that kind of life.
I'm a little upset with myself that I have not been able to concentrate and develop more on some of my thoughts on the lines of education and inspiration. I hope the second inflection point and the thought-provoking reality from The elusive big idea provide the foundation for a worthwhile thought process in 2012.
Overall, this year has been eye-opening in quite many ways. I've come across inspiring and life-changing works of people in literature/poetry, art (especially music), way of life, etc.. As usual, now for the picks of the year in each category: The below works have left a strong impression and a tremendous inspiration in me to live life the easy, simple, and thus, the happy way.
1. Literature/Poetry: Stream of Life (from the Gitanjali, by Rabindranath Tagore) - This was already quoted in an earlier post, in May. I have never, and probably never will, come across a work as brilliant and spiritually invigorating as this. If it could bring such a great feeling from the translation itself, one could imagine how it should sound in its original, in Bengali. I bow to thee, oh dear Revered Mother Nature! Your inspiration will always guide me in the right way.
2. Music: Praan (Adaptation of the Stream of Life). Kudos to Garry Schyman and Palbasha Siddique for an inspiring rendition.
3. Book: 'Small is Beautiful', the slap-in-the-face view of modern way of uncivilized living, and a guide to simple effective economics! And this was written in 1973! Wonder how many disturbing numbers in that book regarding the depletion of resources has to change if it were edited now! Hats off to E.F.Schumacher. You will always be an inspiration to me to live life simple.
4. Video: Life is easy. Why do we make it so hard? This brilliantly simple truth came in late, at the end of the year, but nevertheless beats anything and everything hands down. Hats off to this great man!
Finally, I would wish to wrap the round-up of 2011 with two inspiring and true quotes, one from Buddha, and one from the Cree Indian Prophecy, from the Cree, one of the largest groups of Native Americans. I'm sure these will remain an eternal inspiration, and an eye-opener, to appreciate the beauty of the journey of life as I see it, and to use as a guide to a life free of cruelty to Mother Nature and full of vigor and passion to live simply and beautifully.
- Only when the last tree has been cut, the last river has been poisoned, and the last fish has been caught, will we realize that we cannot eat money - Cree Indian Prophecy (The exact saying is not known, but most of it is true!)
- It is better to travel well than to arrive - Buddha
Rajaji.
Monday, December 19, 2011
For the love of clicks
Science invents very few things which produce an experienced and felt impact in our lives, long enough to last our lifetimes. It is but the metaphysical value from some of these inventions that make them a little more than the normal material inventions which are predominantly useless and which add hardly, if at all any, value to life.
In that sense, one of the most worthwhile inventions of all times, in my opinion, is the camera. The quintessential element of metaphysical value from a camera is the ability to capture and freeze moments in life which the ordinary eye and even the extraordinary brain cannot keep in their racks forever. Such is the eternal value I derive and enjoy from photographs. [I'm in a tremendous way humbled by the extraordinary brains, the prime-movers (to quote Ayn Rand), that create these marvels in the first place. Yet we are largely susceptible to the inabilities of that same mind to retain things forever, unless the thing is of a life-changing nature, or at least, profoundly impacting the fundamental beliefs or altering the basic foundations of life]
And thus I started clicking shots, much to my emotional and mental congruence with the value of a photograph and the inspiration I derive mostly from Mother Nature and the natural life surrounding me; from the sunrise, from the early morning dew, from the blooming flower, from the drizzle to the pouring rains, from the waves and tides, from the sky, the clouds and the stars, from the beautiful flora and fauna all around me. There are, of course, many man-made marvels which are a photographer's paradise. But they are nothing but for the grace of Mother Nature allowing those to be created by men in the first place. Thus, the source of any beautiful thing, in my opinion, is Mother Nature. I love capturing such moments and things, small or big, and like playing them in my mind over and over again, sometimes voluntarily but primarily involuntarily when those moments pop up suddenly out of the secret lockers of the mind.
Thus was born my little effort to capture the brilliance of Mother Nature in all Her creations. I guess there should be something more compelling than what I describe here for this feeling to be born in photographers (I'm not one!).
With a firm belief that it is my duty to show the world all the wonders that Mother Nature has to offer and a commitment to make myself good at this so that I could share the wonders untainted, I venture into this marvelous field of photography.
Enjoy my clicks in this photolog: Through Rajaji's eyes (Read the 'ABOUT THIS PHOTOLOG' Section without fail).
P.S: I feel there is an unmistakable beauty in presenting a photograph as it is, as offered by Mother Nature. All my photos are RAW and completely free of any form of post-processing. If you're one who is looking for touch-ups and artificially added beauty, like the ephemeral cosmetic effects our faces have, my photolog is not the place for you! No offense meant, but feel free to scout elsewhere for post-processed, autographed, photo-shopped photographs!
Long live Mother Nature and Her Creations. Long live the Camera! Sincere salutations to the prime movers who created this marvel.
Rajaji.
In that sense, one of the most worthwhile inventions of all times, in my opinion, is the camera. The quintessential element of metaphysical value from a camera is the ability to capture and freeze moments in life which the ordinary eye and even the extraordinary brain cannot keep in their racks forever. Such is the eternal value I derive and enjoy from photographs. [I'm in a tremendous way humbled by the extraordinary brains, the prime-movers (to quote Ayn Rand), that create these marvels in the first place. Yet we are largely susceptible to the inabilities of that same mind to retain things forever, unless the thing is of a life-changing nature, or at least, profoundly impacting the fundamental beliefs or altering the basic foundations of life]
And thus I started clicking shots, much to my emotional and mental congruence with the value of a photograph and the inspiration I derive mostly from Mother Nature and the natural life surrounding me; from the sunrise, from the early morning dew, from the blooming flower, from the drizzle to the pouring rains, from the waves and tides, from the sky, the clouds and the stars, from the beautiful flora and fauna all around me. There are, of course, many man-made marvels which are a photographer's paradise. But they are nothing but for the grace of Mother Nature allowing those to be created by men in the first place. Thus, the source of any beautiful thing, in my opinion, is Mother Nature. I love capturing such moments and things, small or big, and like playing them in my mind over and over again, sometimes voluntarily but primarily involuntarily when those moments pop up suddenly out of the secret lockers of the mind.
Thus was born my little effort to capture the brilliance of Mother Nature in all Her creations. I guess there should be something more compelling than what I describe here for this feeling to be born in photographers (I'm not one!).
With a firm belief that it is my duty to show the world all the wonders that Mother Nature has to offer and a commitment to make myself good at this so that I could share the wonders untainted, I venture into this marvelous field of photography.
Enjoy my clicks in this photolog: Through Rajaji's eyes (Read the 'ABOUT THIS PHOTOLOG' Section without fail).
P.S: I feel there is an unmistakable beauty in presenting a photograph as it is, as offered by Mother Nature. All my photos are RAW and completely free of any form of post-processing. If you're one who is looking for touch-ups and artificially added beauty, like the ephemeral cosmetic effects our faces have, my photolog is not the place for you! No offense meant, but feel free to scout elsewhere for post-processed, autographed, photo-shopped photographs!
Long live Mother Nature and Her Creations. Long live the Camera! Sincere salutations to the prime movers who created this marvel.
Rajaji.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Happy birthday, Spirit
Dearest Spirit,
It's yet another year we have crossed, half of it with tremendous activity, adventure, excitement and what not.. and the other half.. well, let's just ignore it! Battered and bruised you were, on the outside, when you made way to this city. I'm sorry I haven't tended to you yet. But I hope you won't mind it knowing well that I'm as battered and bruised as you are, only that it's on the inside for me!
Not far away, Spirit.. Not far away.. The time is nearing. For us to be back on those heavenly roads, chasing the sun burning down the vast ocean of waters, for us to be back on those lovely sands, leaving hard footprints that the caressing waters will have a tough time erasing, for us to be back where we can simply be riding on and on and on!
Till we get back to those heavenly roads, hang on.
Here's wishing you another year full of adventure and excitement and great great times ahead!
Love you always, Spirit. Till death do us part!
Rajaji.
It's yet another year we have crossed, half of it with tremendous activity, adventure, excitement and what not.. and the other half.. well, let's just ignore it! Battered and bruised you were, on the outside, when you made way to this city. I'm sorry I haven't tended to you yet. But I hope you won't mind it knowing well that I'm as battered and bruised as you are, only that it's on the inside for me!
Not far away, Spirit.. Not far away.. The time is nearing. For us to be back on those heavenly roads, chasing the sun burning down the vast ocean of waters, for us to be back on those lovely sands, leaving hard footprints that the caressing waters will have a tough time erasing, for us to be back where we can simply be riding on and on and on!
Till we get back to those heavenly roads, hang on.
Here's wishing you another year full of adventure and excitement and great great times ahead!
Love you always, Spirit. Till death do us part!
Rajaji.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
That day of the year
I'm on the day before the one important day in every man's life, the birth day, a day that reminds a person of the significance of what life is, what it took to live it up the whole year before and what it'd take to do so the year ahead. It is today that brings to light the worthiness of a life lived over the last 365 days before it started the same way an year back as it does today too. It is one of the few days in life when time does knock on my brains and reminds me it is there, watching.
Over the course of the last year, there were moments that I wished would stay forever and time would stand still, and there were moments that I wished would pass too. It is but the realization of the truth that life is a passage of good and not-so-good things that brings me peace at the end of the day, that keeps me in check to appreciate the ups and downs. For, it is after the blocked view from behind the mountains or the ocean horizon that I see the true magnificence of the sunrise and understand the mountains and the ocean are there for their reason. And they are going to be there forever and the sun would still rise. Someday soon, I'll start liking the blocked views too, for the beauty of the sunrise is unimaginable but for them.
It is today that the bits and pieces of music, good and bad, that have gone through my mind and heart over the last year, come together in a flash to weave out a magical symphony. And this is when it strikes that whoever said life is a bittersweet symphony could not have been more right. Life makes perfect sense being bittersweet. It is understandable what one should have gone through for realizing this.
I have viewed, and will view, life always as a journey. I'm not that typical traveller who knows his destination, and hits the bed the moment he's on board only to wake up where the journey ends. I look forward to the things that form the journey.
With this, I get ready to enter another year, another part of life where the journey is on new routes (I've already been on the new route for some time now), where I'm eager to feel both the pleasant highway drives and the bumps in the cramped roads. I'm game!
Happy birthday to myself.
Rajaji.
Over the course of the last year, there were moments that I wished would stay forever and time would stand still, and there were moments that I wished would pass too. It is but the realization of the truth that life is a passage of good and not-so-good things that brings me peace at the end of the day, that keeps me in check to appreciate the ups and downs. For, it is after the blocked view from behind the mountains or the ocean horizon that I see the true magnificence of the sunrise and understand the mountains and the ocean are there for their reason. And they are going to be there forever and the sun would still rise. Someday soon, I'll start liking the blocked views too, for the beauty of the sunrise is unimaginable but for them.
It is today that the bits and pieces of music, good and bad, that have gone through my mind and heart over the last year, come together in a flash to weave out a magical symphony. And this is when it strikes that whoever said life is a bittersweet symphony could not have been more right. Life makes perfect sense being bittersweet. It is understandable what one should have gone through for realizing this.
I have viewed, and will view, life always as a journey. I'm not that typical traveller who knows his destination, and hits the bed the moment he's on board only to wake up where the journey ends. I look forward to the things that form the journey.
With this, I get ready to enter another year, another part of life where the journey is on new routes (I've already been on the new route for some time now), where I'm eager to feel both the pleasant highway drives and the bumps in the cramped roads. I'm game!
Happy birthday to myself.
Rajaji.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Inspiration
I had an unsolved mystery about inspirations for a long time. ‘Are inspirations ephemeral?’ I used to ask myself time and again. I can hardly recall any experience then, where my inspiration lasted beyond two days at a stretch! I had tried developing and instilling a thought or two on the lines of the inspiration which triggered them in the first place. I failed all the time. It was long before I experienced and felt, finally, that all inspirations are ephemeral but those driven from within. I don’t see a reason why an inspiration should not be the source of internal motivation. After all, what inspiration essentially does is that it triggers the hidden inertial energy to motion. The cause is internal and the effect is driven from within too.
That inspirations are primarily non-material is the biggest discovery of my life, though they may drive downstream material goals. An inspiration is no more than a spark in that it fires the inner fuel at the right time. What follows as a result is that the concentrated and channeled thoughts are given shape by the spark and become visible to us through its tremendous energy and action. If inspirations were to emanate from a source, then that source has to be infinite and transcendental, for it is impossible for something by itself to generate different motives in each one of us. That each of us gives a different angle to our actions is because of the fundamental difference in perception, and that perceptions differ across each individual is the ultimate evidence that each of us is as unique as the rest of us. So, essentially, the source of inspiration is unlimited by space, time or any other infinite measure in comparison to our short life. And that is precisely the reason my inspiration most often comes from nature and the natural life surrounding me; from the sunrise, from the early morning dew, from the blooming flower, from the drizzle to the pouring rains, from the waves and tides, from the sky, the clouds and the stars. I also feel it in music, in the wisdom of the philosophers, and much more. All these, needless to say, are unlimited by space and time, and are infinite in comparison to our short lives. These trigger some internal thought process in me that takes a cue from the natural design of things, develops a thought and puts it into action. And thus they become the true source of inspiration to me. This is from my experience with the quest for the metaphysical.
Coming to the physical and more haphazard, I have a problem with the self-help books. That one can derive continuous streams of inspiration from someone else’s experiences and discovery in life is simply unacceptable to me. As I mentioned before, a true source of inspiration can never be from a thing that is limited by time, space or any other measure of finiteness. What we truly mean when we say a person or a thing is an inspiration to us is that there is a characteristic or a quality in that individual or thing which is infinite, transcendental and unlimited. That Albert Einstein is my inspirational figure essentially means there is a certain quality of his which was unlimited in scope, his creativity and thought. That Abraham Lincoln is my inspirational figure truly means there were more than one quality, perseverance, integrity etc. that stood the test of time and resulted in historical glory for himself and a source of inspiration for millions like me. To reiterate, these are qualities that we all have but which are dormant all the while. A thing, an individual or an action that is not part of us triggers this from within us. Personally, I think it is but futile and silly to ascribe a permanency to an inspiration from a source outside of one's self.
Finally, if one goes by the universal adage that ‘God helps those who help themselves’, the self-help books are a waste of time and against the devotion to their self, and ultimately to their God. (That I’m an atheist is a different matter, but even if I were to construe a God, it would be my own ‘self’! And this I take as substantial evidence from the words of the second best God, next only to myself, Krishna, who I could see as nothing more than a man with profound wisdom and common sense to say 'Your self is your God; and that is me!) Self-help is not to be found anywhere but in the self. If there was someone to lend a hand, literally and metaphorically, all the time for all problems one faced in life, I guess the receiver is nothing more than a machine which is driven by the thoughts and actions of someone else. If you feel a tinge of objectivism in this, I’m glad you’ve got my point.
If I feel like writing a ‘Part II’ to this, I sure will update.
P.S: This post is originally written for Akila's blog as my contribution to her column on 'Inspiration'. So, as such this in itself is an inspiration. I've tried my best not to generalize the concept and to stick to my personal thoughts and opinions on it.
P.S: This post is originally written for Akila's blog as my contribution to her column on 'Inspiration'. So, as such this in itself is an inspiration. I've tried my best not to generalize the concept and to stick to my personal thoughts and opinions on it.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Incongruence
There are times when, in the depths of my heart, I encounter a flashing life that makes me feel like I have been living in an altogether different world. I'm awakened by chills from my sleep and find that I'm glued to the bed whereas, just microseconds ago, I had been on that different world doing different things. I do not think they are dreams--for my dreams often get knocked off when the reality of the morning and the mundane life ticks my biological clock away--and they aren’t random either, as most dreams are! I guess they are the manifestations of my infinite daydreams which I deliberately undertake to live a life out of this world; a world I’ve created on my own terms, no conditions!
Sometimes I have spiritually, emotionally and intellectually challenging conversations with my larger circle of friends and find that I do not fit anywhere even on the border of the circle that they are the center of in this world, in terms of defining the quantities and qualities of a successful life. But it is nothing to trouble me, for the definition of success is altogether subjective and I have my own measures for it. But I can't help feeling that I'm a misfit in their world, the world largely populated, and more often than not, polluted, with things that have the least bit of value in my judgment, and that I have the least respect and most scorn for! Truth be told and accepted, predominantly it’s a materialistic and capitalistic world. I hate both.
Still, against all these imbalances of a seemingly normal life that I have developed within me, I continue to live a life out of this world, a daydreamer's world, with my own projections and imaginations of people, systems and ecosystems. It was hard there at first, but it is harder here. The only saving grace here is the few connections I have with a few, very very few, like-minded people who are on the same boat! And I know I'm not alone. As time grows, I'm more and more aware of who are the kind of people I want in life and the type of connections I build. For one thing, I know suckers (interpretation left to the reader!) when I look at them and I keep off. For another, their dreams, wish lists, ambitions and ‘wanna-have-realizations’ screw my mind and I get insane!
As I'm writing this, I'm slumped deep in my chair, unmindful of the song that is running in loop, deeply lost in what I'm penning down here. I stare at the wall in front of me. It carries the marks of the cellophane tape stripped off the surface. There used to be three sheets stuck on the wall under the cellophane tape. They were the calendar days of the three months that lie ahead of me. I stuck them there a month ago in an attempt to live life on a 100-day time frame. But a couple of weeks down the line, I could no longer take the dread of the mundaneness I would have to undergo if each day began with a look at the white sheet. I stripped the papers off the wall and then there was peace!
In this age, if materialism is tantamount to the technological overwhelming that we find ourselves in, well, I don't deny I'm not caught in the web of the new world, for I am around and abound with technology and innovation; things that I enjoy, reading about and marvel at (and despise) the (sometimes useless) minds that create them and make a labyrinthine mess out of it! Guilty as charged, truth be told, I have a Smartphone, one my brother gifted me about a year ago. It is flashy, awesome technology and I flaunted it! The last one year with it has been colorful. I've been completely in and through it; and now out of it. It isn't exciting to me anymore (No offence meant, Bro!:-)). It’s a phone. Period. I’m not anymore hooked to social networks or online games (I hated them from the beginning!), I’ll soon be out of social networks for good for they are the perfect worrisome rocking chair, consuming an exorbitantly large amount of energy and doing essentially no good. Catching up with friends? What catching up? Once you catch up, what next? Everyday you’re hunky dory about that person spending your 23 hrs thinking about him/her and the remaining 1 hr online chatting?! Come on! Give me a break!
As I said before, the only saving grace for me in this world is that I'm, for most part, connected to people who, to a large extent, understand and correlate with me on my perceptions and principles of life. Primarily they are my immediate family and the few best friends. And they are the people who know that a social network is the last place on earth I’d get into for catching up with them! Well… sometimes I wouldn’t even have to catch up for we’re never out of touch!
To hell with materialism; to hell with capitalism; to hell with hi-tech. I know I’m incongruent with this world. So be it. This is what I am.
Rajaji.
Sometimes I have spiritually, emotionally and intellectually challenging conversations with my larger circle of friends and find that I do not fit anywhere even on the border of the circle that they are the center of in this world, in terms of defining the quantities and qualities of a successful life. But it is nothing to trouble me, for the definition of success is altogether subjective and I have my own measures for it. But I can't help feeling that I'm a misfit in their world, the world largely populated, and more often than not, polluted, with things that have the least bit of value in my judgment, and that I have the least respect and most scorn for! Truth be told and accepted, predominantly it’s a materialistic and capitalistic world. I hate both.
Still, against all these imbalances of a seemingly normal life that I have developed within me, I continue to live a life out of this world, a daydreamer's world, with my own projections and imaginations of people, systems and ecosystems. It was hard there at first, but it is harder here. The only saving grace here is the few connections I have with a few, very very few, like-minded people who are on the same boat! And I know I'm not alone. As time grows, I'm more and more aware of who are the kind of people I want in life and the type of connections I build. For one thing, I know suckers (interpretation left to the reader!) when I look at them and I keep off. For another, their dreams, wish lists, ambitions and ‘wanna-have-realizations’ screw my mind and I get insane!
As I'm writing this, I'm slumped deep in my chair, unmindful of the song that is running in loop, deeply lost in what I'm penning down here. I stare at the wall in front of me. It carries the marks of the cellophane tape stripped off the surface. There used to be three sheets stuck on the wall under the cellophane tape. They were the calendar days of the three months that lie ahead of me. I stuck them there a month ago in an attempt to live life on a 100-day time frame. But a couple of weeks down the line, I could no longer take the dread of the mundaneness I would have to undergo if each day began with a look at the white sheet. I stripped the papers off the wall and then there was peace!
In this age, if materialism is tantamount to the technological overwhelming that we find ourselves in, well, I don't deny I'm not caught in the web of the new world, for I am around and abound with technology and innovation; things that I enjoy, reading about and marvel at (and despise) the (sometimes useless) minds that create them and make a labyrinthine mess out of it! Guilty as charged, truth be told, I have a Smartphone, one my brother gifted me about a year ago. It is flashy, awesome technology and I flaunted it! The last one year with it has been colorful. I've been completely in and through it; and now out of it. It isn't exciting to me anymore (No offence meant, Bro!:-)). It’s a phone. Period. I’m not anymore hooked to social networks or online games (I hated them from the beginning!), I’ll soon be out of social networks for good for they are the perfect worrisome rocking chair, consuming an exorbitantly large amount of energy and doing essentially no good. Catching up with friends? What catching up? Once you catch up, what next? Everyday you’re hunky dory about that person spending your 23 hrs thinking about him/her and the remaining 1 hr online chatting?! Come on! Give me a break!
As I said before, the only saving grace for me in this world is that I'm, for most part, connected to people who, to a large extent, understand and correlate with me on my perceptions and principles of life. Primarily they are my immediate family and the few best friends. And they are the people who know that a social network is the last place on earth I’d get into for catching up with them! Well… sometimes I wouldn’t even have to catch up for we’re never out of touch!
To hell with materialism; to hell with capitalism; to hell with hi-tech. I know I’m incongruent with this world. So be it. This is what I am.
Rajaji.
Friday, October 14, 2011
A lesser immortal?
On my way back from office, I usually have one of two companions. On most days, it's my mobile phone pouring out the same songs again and again.But, occasionally, it's the cab driver. Generally I'm not an accosting type, but on boring weekdays and exciting Fridays, I get desperate to talk, either to beat the boredom or to lighten up for the weekend. Usually it's just about a couple of minutes' talk just to break the monotony. And then I get back to my own world of imagination. And here's the story about today's driver.
Here was this mortal with a simple philosophy in life! And I thought how many such seemingly 'lesser mortals' like him I would have snapped at, gotten angry at, in my mad rush at things! And today it seemed this man was royally giving it back to me, and indirectly to my fellow men, thus vindicating all his fellow 'mortals'!
And I walked home feeling a prick at our hi-fi mad life and a smile at the simple life philosophy of a lesser immortal!
Rajaji.
Me: So, Bhaiyaa, how much do they pay you here? Kithna miltha hai har maheena? monthly salary yaa km rate?
B: Har KM ko Rs. 6.50 miltha hai saab.
Me: Ithna kam?? kithna pickup/drop har din?
B: 5 or 6 pickup/drop kartha hoon saab, har din. Lagbag 200 kms hotha hain. 22 days gaadi chalatha hoon har maheena. (launches the calculator from his Nokia C3).. That's 28,600, saab.
Me: Diesel aur maintenance?
B: Diesel har din kam-se-kam Rs.500. That's Rs. 11000. Maintenance/oil change/service ke liye 3000-5000 hotha hai. Har maheena 10,000 miltha hai saab.
Me: Achcha..
I thought I had had enough for the day and kept mum thinking of what to do over the weekend and mentally charting out a plan. But he continued on.
B: Main tho bachelor hoon, saab. Akele rahtha hoon. Abhi chaar dhin pehle hee ye gaadi kareeda, second hand mein. 2005 ka model hai.. Rs. 1.7 lakh ko milaa..
Me: achcha... congrats bhaiyaa..
B: Pehle, hamara gaav ke kirana store mein kaam kartha tha. Uske baaad ek auto kareeda aur usse cheez thoda settle huyi.. aur ek motorcyle bhi thaa... abhi dhono ko bechke ye gaadi karidha... poora mera paisa se.. (gleaming!). abhi tho kush hoon, saab. Mujhe tho har maheena 1 lac ya 2 lac kamaane ka ichcha nahi hain...
Me: (curiously) kyon nahin bhaiyya? kirana se auto, abhi car.. kyon nahi 1 lac?
B: yehi tho mujhe teek lagtha hai saab. Mera own gaadi se kuch miltha hai, usse main jee hoon aur gaav mein maa ko bhi kuch detha hoon.. mein bhi khush hoon.. woh bhi khush hai... thodi dhin ke baad woh bhi mera saath aa jayegi.. bas saab... kisi our ka Mercedes bhi chalaatha tho mujhe yeh khushi nahi milega..
Here was this mortal with a simple philosophy in life! And I thought how many such seemingly 'lesser mortals' like him I would have snapped at, gotten angry at, in my mad rush at things! And today it seemed this man was royally giving it back to me, and indirectly to my fellow men, thus vindicating all his fellow 'mortals'!
And I walked home feeling a prick at our hi-fi mad life and a smile at the simple life philosophy of a lesser immortal!
Rajaji.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
That thing called...
I have always been amazed by people. A thousand different faces with thousands and thousands of expressions driven by something from within. Most are fickle lies, many are forged machines, some are greedy scorns, few are blessed indifferent, but only a very few make the connect with me!
What drive them all? Is it passion? Is it motivation? Then who or what is the motivation? Is time evanescent or eternal? Is it fear? If so, of what? Is it greed? Do people really believe in things 'in the long run'? What is the life force in that life which, on one extreme, cheats the gravest of impossibilities thereby managing to snatch a decent life out of a mess of things and emerges successful (of course, based on the subjective definition of success), and on the other, a failure (as with success, so with failure)?
I'm going to capture them all in this 'That thing called..' series! Watch out the label in my future posts.
What drive them all? Is it passion? Is it motivation? Then who or what is the motivation? Is time evanescent or eternal? Is it fear? If so, of what? Is it greed? Do people really believe in things 'in the long run'? What is the life force in that life which, on one extreme, cheats the gravest of impossibilities thereby managing to snatch a decent life out of a mess of things and emerges successful (of course, based on the subjective definition of success), and on the other, a failure (as with success, so with failure)?
I'm going to capture them all in this 'That thing called..' series! Watch out the label in my future posts.
Monday, September 12, 2011
The stares
It was strange. All through the day there was constant noise and light, my mind wasn't at its usual form; it was swinging wildly between all the challenges that lay before me and the visions of braving them, all at once or one at a time. And they vanished just like they had come. The day was, simply put, heavy! I felt tired. I had to pull it through somehow lest any brief stop should drag me to sleep right then and there.
And then, after all the noise and light of the day had died down, when I hit the sack thinking I'd cross the trance and slip into unconsciousness instantly, I didn't. There stood the challenges in front of me, again, staring, all armed with their heavy swords, just waiting which one I'd choose for the first feud. I wasn't prepared for the moment when all of them would throw themselves open in the silent, dark night and take me head on. But I knew at that moment that this is the way I'd henceforth be challenged by my challenges. When all the world calms down and I am with myself, dangling at the borders of an abyss and a pinnacle, they'd stare at me with their glowing, piercing eyes with a condescension that could wring the heart of the weak. Then I'd say "All right. Let's see who can stare longer and wear the other one out!".
And then, after all the noise and light of the day had died down, when I hit the sack thinking I'd cross the trance and slip into unconsciousness instantly, I didn't. There stood the challenges in front of me, again, staring, all armed with their heavy swords, just waiting which one I'd choose for the first feud. I wasn't prepared for the moment when all of them would throw themselves open in the silent, dark night and take me head on. But I knew at that moment that this is the way I'd henceforth be challenged by my challenges. When all the world calms down and I am with myself, dangling at the borders of an abyss and a pinnacle, they'd stare at me with their glowing, piercing eyes with a condescension that could wring the heart of the weak. Then I'd say "All right. Let's see who can stare longer and wear the other one out!".
Friday, August 19, 2011
Indifferent
I think an idea or a thought is not complete until its polar opposite is analyzed too! With that in mind:
Ohh, I love the idea of indifference!
"If you hate a person, you hate something in them that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."Well then.. This is what I make of love.
— Hermann Hesse
"If you love a person, you love something in them that is NOT part of yourself! Men would be too egotistical to love someone who is just like them! so, love shouldn't disturb us either, since it isn't a part of oneself!"Does this mean, we should all, invariably, be INDIFFERENT?!
Ohh, I love the idea of indifference!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
shining
a million memories flickered in dark ceiling,
a world of talks echoed in dead silence,
the blaring sound of the song muted out,
music that soothe the soul, now on deaf ears,
minutes roll like hours, past frozen moments,
such stillness like the world stopped, forever.
and then the ceiling vanished, the stars shone,
all echoes muted out and the cold winds sang,
the music caught on, to nature's rhythmic dance,
in the flashes lit up brilliantly with such purity,
in that streak of light, blemishless and pristine,
stood gleaming, my pretty little angel, shining!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Happy birthday, dear
My dear blog,
It's that time of the year again. For you, and me along with you, to start another year of our eventful lives. Here's to you a very happy birthday and wishing many more prosperous ones to follow.
Hope you remember when I told you last year how I'm making the best out of the life as it happens to me. I've managed to do it throughout the last year as you'd have wanted me to, despite, of cousre, some rough patches and some serious mistakes! Well, I'm learning, buddy. Most of the things I said back then continue to happen today. Of course, they would. Aren't they a part of life? A development, if it may be called that, is that I take deeper looks at all of them now than I used to. But this year I think I won't be seeing as many of them as the last year, because all those souls that drove the events of my life last year are out of the beautiful, closed world. I face a tougher world now, a world more corrupt, more drawn to power, more dependent... more 'dog-eat-dog' types, simply put!
The tunnels keep coming one after the other and I somehow manage to continue to find the light at the end of each. The crossroads are as interesting now as they were when I first experienced them.
I hope to recount more interesting experiences right about this time next year as well. Till then, let's both continue to enjoy the journey.
cheers,
rajaji.
P.S: you know what? I still walk hand in hand even when alone. Those angels... they're pretty much still around! :-)
It's that time of the year again. For you, and me along with you, to start another year of our eventful lives. Here's to you a very happy birthday and wishing many more prosperous ones to follow.
Hope you remember when I told you last year how I'm making the best out of the life as it happens to me. I've managed to do it throughout the last year as you'd have wanted me to, despite, of cousre, some rough patches and some serious mistakes! Well, I'm learning, buddy. Most of the things I said back then continue to happen today. Of course, they would. Aren't they a part of life? A development, if it may be called that, is that I take deeper looks at all of them now than I used to. But this year I think I won't be seeing as many of them as the last year, because all those souls that drove the events of my life last year are out of the beautiful, closed world. I face a tougher world now, a world more corrupt, more drawn to power, more dependent... more 'dog-eat-dog' types, simply put!
The tunnels keep coming one after the other and I somehow manage to continue to find the light at the end of each. The crossroads are as interesting now as they were when I first experienced them.
I hope to recount more interesting experiences right about this time next year as well. Till then, let's both continue to enjoy the journey.
cheers,
rajaji.
P.S: you know what? I still walk hand in hand even when alone. Those angels... they're pretty much still around! :-)
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